[sauropod]

I am in a fairly new relationship (less than a year old) and it is serious. I refuse to do a pre-nup. To me, if you do a pre-nup, then you won't trust the other person no matter what. Any future marriage would be doomed.

[technochick99]

I was seriously involved with someone several years ago. He wanted a pre-nup - I was horrififed. He had known me for years as a friend and knew my character.

When we broke up, he got very pissy. Heck - he still has some of my stuff.

My attitude has changed over the years. Marriage is a contract, and there's always the chance that the relationship will fail. And it take more than one willing person to make things work out. I'm divorced, and although we had discussed a pre-nup, we never got around to it. And it was my idea.

[najida]

I agree, it dooms a relationship.

The very fact that I would consider a pre-nup (to protect my remaining family) is the reason I know I won't get married again.

[only1percent]

A pre-nup makes a lot of sense when one or both of the spouses-to-be has significant financial obligations to members of their family. The most common case is when someone has children from a prior marriage, but, also, when one is a partner or stockholder in a family business which would have to be liquidated in a divorce. This latter situation happened to a client of mine - he and his brothers inherited a thriving remodeling and custom finishing business from his father. Because he ran the business, he took the lion's share of the net, but his brothers (neither of whom had much in the way of education or savvy) made decent livings as well. The court held that his stake was a function of his takehome, and that half of that needed to go to the ex-wife at the divorce. Result: sale of the company, at break-up value of its assets, far less than its true worth (they couldn't find financing to buy out ex-wife shares). Further result: my client starts over (basically) from scratch, although he's doing fine now, and his brothers end up working for $10 hour at Home Depot.