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To: hellinahandcart
Yeah, this is a tough one. I won't criticize him for his decision to remain celibate, and there are good reasons for it. However, I do feel a little sympathy for the woman. She dates a man for six months and he doesn't want to give her hope for marriage, and won't get nekkid either. I don't know how long she should wait for either choice. I don't know either, if six months is long enough to wait for a marriage proposal. Given their ages and experience in life, it seems time enough though, and I don't blame her for bailing. I'm not sure after reading the article if he doesn't want sex or is just turned off for life for marriage.
33 posted on 06/15/2003 11:32:51 AM PDT by Enterprise
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To: Enterprise
That's my point. Look at what he said about dating:

"I don't expect a woman to have sex with me because I took her out to dinner and spent $100," Washington counters. "That should be normal if I am trying to win her hand and to prove to her I'm the man of her dreams.

So what was he "trying to prove" by dating that woman for six months and then saying he couldn't commit?

If he was trying to prove he could control every aspect of the relationship, he succeeded. But it doesn't look like *she* got much out of it, other than dinners.

And can you imagine to damage to her self-image?--"Even a man who's gone without sex for a decade doesn't want me!"

I repeat, he's not very kind.

39 posted on 06/15/2003 11:40:28 AM PDT by hellinahandcart
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To: Enterprise
I won't criticize him for his decision to remain celibate, and there are good reasons for it. However, I do feel a little sympathy for the woman. She dates a man for six months and he doesn't want to give her hope for marriage, and won't get nekkid either. I don't know how long she should wait for either choice. I don't know either, if six months is long enough to wait for a marriage proposal. Given their ages and experience in life, it seems time enough though, and I don't blame her for bailing. I'm not sure after reading the article if he doesn't want sex or is just turned off for life for marriage.

It sounds as though he was dating this woman, trying to find out if she was the right one for him, and just wasn't feeling the passionate love he wants to feel. She fairly asked him where he was, emotionally, and he told her that he just wasn't feeling as though their relationship would lead to marriage. She determined that she didn't want to waste any more time with him. This is fair to everyone. Nobody did anything wrong here. Nobody owes anybody an apology. It's just a good thing for her that she didn't waste any more time on a relationship that was not going to lead to adoration, dedication, and marriage.

I respect this man. He is acting on principles. Remember that the first line in this article says that he had a dramatic lifestyle change, so presumably his previous lifestyle was full of uncommitted sex. He makes it clear, without revealing intimate details, that he was horrified at the consequences of his previous lifestyle--sorrow and suffering, pregnancy, disease, and possible death.

For all of you who think it's weird: it's more common than you know. A lot of guys are celibate but just don't go around talking about it all the time. A lot of other guys aren't quite celibate but only have sex when they're deeply in love, which doens't happen all that many times in a person's life.

As for the idea of having sex with a steady girlfriend: no man should have sex with a steady girlfriend unless he's planning to marry her, because steady girlfriends get pregnant, too. There's no such thing as foolproof birth control. If you don't love her enought to marry her you don't love her enough to have sex with her.

64 posted on 06/15/2003 11:51:15 AM PDT by Capriole (Foi vainquera)
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To: Enterprise
She dates a man for six months and he doesn't want to give her hope for marriage, and won't get nekkid either.

The traditional response is for her to date other guys. You want to be just friends? OK, I sure you won't get jealous.

197 posted on 06/15/2003 2:17:41 PM PDT by Tribune7
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