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To: hellinahandcart
I'm right with you until #9 or #10. We don't know that he didn't talk about their future. And, we don't know that he said he thought everything was just fine and he didn't want it to ever change. Six months is just not that long. Perhaps he said he considered their relationship very promising and that he believed that their courtship should last a year. Perhaps they were still talking about the issue of children. Perhaps he still had concerns over their life goals. Perhaps.... The point is, we don't know. We weren't there. All we know is two short sentences. Making assumptions about this dude being a bad guy based on two sentences is pointless. We just don't know.

BTW, there are other assumptions you're making that we just don't know. We don't know that she finds his abstinance an attractive quality. Perhaps she thought she could change his mind. Perhaps she thought it was a ploy, a line.

Frankly, I find a woman who says something to effect that she can abstain if she knew they were going to marry to be less than ideal. It sounds to me more like she's not willing to wait for the one she loves. She knows she can get sex other places and if he's not going to come through, then she'll go elsewhere. Afterall, if she really loved him, shouldn't she be willing to wait? My grandmother's aunt waited for her soldier to return from WWI. She had a promise of marriage from him. He never returned. She loved him and waited for him. She never married.

Far from faulting Mr. Washington, I'd say it was in HIS best interest that their relationship is no longer.

302 posted on 06/15/2003 5:29:14 PM PDT by FourPeas
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To: FourPeas
Six months is just not that long.

Shoe-on-other-foot time.

Back in the good old days, when men knew that dating and sex were rarely the same thing, I used to date quite a lot.

But one thing I never did was to let a relationship drag on, once I knew that the guy was getting a little too serious and there wasn't a chance I'd ever "catch up" to where he was. I considered it taking advantage for selfish reasons-- sure, I'd have something to do on Saturday night if I strung him along, but what *he* should have been doing is seeking someone who could return his feelings.

And I don't care what anyone says, you know early on if you can or can't return the feelings. The spark is there or it isn't.

Not wanting to get married after six months is one thing, but not being sure if a relationship is headed somewhere or just spinning its wheels, after six months? I don't buy it.

Afterall, if she really loved him, shouldn't she be willing to wait?

Wait for what? For him to marry her, or to first decide what he wants?

Regardless of her feelings, she'd be a fool to "wait" very long for someone who doesn't love her. She'd be better off "waiting" for someone else.

349 posted on 06/15/2003 9:43:16 PM PDT by hellinahandcart
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