[BibChr]

I do have another thought, or two.

First, the mere fact that most men don't initiate divorce does not mean necessarily that most men don't cause it. I am not saying they do, I'm just saying it isn't that simple. For instance, a man cheats on his wife. She divorces him. He did not initiate it. But he caused it.

Secondly, this presupposes the situation of a wronged, hurt, wounded man shut out of his children's lives. Sometimes, I have no doubt, this is true.

So we're told that 50-50 is better? Better to do (we're told) as Solomon said -- split the living child in two? (But in Solomon's case, this was to prove the real parent, because NO decent parent would WANT his child split in two.)

That isn't obvious to me. Suppose a husband wronged his mate, was divorced, and the woman remarries a decent man. (This applies equally with gender reversal.) What would be best for the child? To be split in two, to have two different houses with two different standards and two different sets of rules, and no real home? To have two daddies (or mommies)? To be in a position to play off the two houses, in terms of which makes him the best offer ("Mommy makes you go to bed at 8:30? Heck, I'll let you stay up until ten!")?

I offer this mainly as perspective-broadening input.

Dan

[honeygrl]

I think you made a great point.

[independentmind]

. First, the mere fact that most men don't initiate divorce does not mean necessarily that most men don't cause it.

An astute observation.