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I really respect what I think this guy is trying to say. And yet he seems to be getting it wrong. I know he is trying to say that both parents are equally necessary but in so doing he makes them out to be so alike that only one truly would be necessary. What is that saying "If we are exactly alike then one of us is uneccesary?"

Two exact parents isn't what a child needs. Two complimentray parents is what a child needs. Being a parent isn't about diaper changing or meal preparation or washing laundry- any goon with three brain cells to rub together can manage those things. Though two such goons would certainly be nice (so one goon could take a break occasionally) one goon would suffice just fine.

What makes both parents equally valuable is that they are *different* and like it or not some of those differences are most likely at least a little bit tied to the fact that they are different genders. We have three boys, almost 6, 4 1/2 and 1 1/2. Because I don't want my boys to emasculated liberal sissies I try really hard to not freak out when they climb things, or touch bugs or do anything else that is really more "boyish" than anything I would willingly choose to do if I had three girls. But try as I might, I AM a girl and I don't like bugs and I can't climb a tree and I am completely unteachable when it comes to throwing a ball. It is my husband that taught our at-the-time not even three year old how to climb on top of his play house (its a log cabin I swear!!) and then brought me AND the video camera outside. (The video camera was not to record the climb but to record MY panic attack as I watched him climb.)

Or- I am the official owie-kisser. Not always the owie-bandager/fixer but the owie-kisser. My husband never gets offered an owie to kiss better. He gets offered owies to fix (like the inch long splinter that took pliers and an exacto knife to get out) but not to kiss, becuase kissing is a sweet-momma job. However, when we recently went to Disneyland/California Adventure I might as well have been chopped liver when it came to the scary rides- none of the boys wanted to ride with me. Protecting first-time roller coaster riders is a strong-brave-poppa job. (The oldest even did California Screamin'- momma didn't even do roller coasters like that until she was at least 12 and never in a million years would have thought to take a 5 year old on such a ride, but poppa did.)

And through individual traits not necessarily related to gender I have more patience with kid like silliness. My husband on the other hand knows some things that the boys have this inate desire to know- like things about tools, and sports and cars. And it has to be genetic because they are with me all day and have absolutely no interest in washing machines (except maybe to take it apart) or needles and pins (cept maybe to stick in their fingers) or baking pans (unless of course the cookies are out to cool and they say "momma can I please have just one- I promise I'll still eat my dinner")

But it isn't because he loves more than me or I love more than him. It is because we both we love- and the love of both is equally necessary for our boys.

What makes both parents equally valuable is that they are *different* and like it or not some of those differences are most likely at least a little bit tied to the fact that they are different genders

You are exactly right and that also bothered me about the article. Fathers are not there to be deputy diaper changers (although I've been that). Each parent teaches different life skills. And it's not just for the boys. There is no substitute for the mutual love and admiration between a father and daughter. It's quite a responsibility because most likely she's going to be attracted to men who remind her of her dad.