My wife tried that once years ago when I came home late from work. I had been at the tavern with some co-workers. She was lying in bed with an 8" chef knife waiting to bobbitize my frontal area. I climbed into bed and she displayed the knife, I reached over and grabbed the thing and took it from her, slicing her ring finger to the bone. That never happened again. It's become a funny story we tell now some 26 years later.
I'm thankful she didn't do to me what her sister did to her carousing husband. He came home from work one day to find his dinner ready and little did he know his girlfriend had called the wife and told her about his affair. The wife had taken the husbands fork and heated it to redhot on the stove and stuck it into the plate of spaghetti. When he stuck the fork into his mouth the fork branded his tounge and roof of his mouth. They were quite a couple.
What am I missing?
A little testy, huh? At least she didn't hear you say, "I love you" to your mistress on the telephone. That deserves scissors at the jugular, in my opinion. :-)