If you need someone to Klingon... (Help Wanted: One Klingon Interpreter)

The (Portland) Oregonian ^ | 5.10.03 | STEVE WOODWARD

[mhking]

If you need someone to Klingon. . .

05/10/03

STEVE WOODWARD

Multnomah County is looking for a Klingon interpreter -- just in case.

The county doesn't expect to be invaded by the alien warriors from "Star Trek" movies and TV series. But the office that treats county mental health patients wants to be prepared in case a client arrives in an emergency room gabbing in the galactic language.

"We have to provide information in all the languages our clients speak," says Jerry Jelusich, a procurement specialist for the county Department of Human Services, which serves some 60,000 mental health clients.

So if a patient speaks only Klingon, the county must respond with a Klingon interpreter. Officials have decided to include it with about 55 languages, some of which, such as Russian and Vietnamese, are widely spoken, and some, such as Dari and Tongan, are seldom spoken.

In recent years, Klingon has gone from being a fictional tongue to a complete language, with its own grammar, syntax and vocabulary. Jelusich and colleagues took note of a recent article in The Oregonian about a Portlander who sings karaoke in Klingon. Their later research satisfied them that Klingon is for real.

The county would pay a Klingon interpreter only in the unlikely case he or she was actually called into service.

"We said, 'What the heck, let's throw it in,' " Jelusich says. "It doesn't cost us any money."

The county's purchasing administrator, Franna Hathaway, greeted the request with initial skepticism. "I questioned it myself when it first came in. "

But, she adds, "There are some cases where we've had mental health patients where this was all they would speak."

Jelusich says that in reality, no patient has yet tried to communicate in Klingon. But the possibility that a patient could believe himself or herself to be a Klingon doesn't seem so far-fetched.

"I've got people who think they're Napoleon," he says.

Multnomah County Chairwoman Diane Linn could not be reached for comment. Next up: another mythical language popularized by The "Lord of the Rings" films.

"The kids," Jelusich says, "are learning to speak Elvish."

Steve Woodward: 503-294-5134; stevewoodward@news.oregonian.com

[mhking]

Q'a'pla!

"Hold muh beer 'n watch this!" PING....

If you want on or off this list, please let me know!

[evolved_rage]

Wouldn't a Klingon just kill a Klingon mental patient...no need for an interpreter then.

[Rasputin_TheMadMonk]

Ghorgh Kronos Daq ta' rur tlhIngan ta'

[BlueOneGolf]

Ghorgh Kronos Daq ta' rur tlhIngan ta'

Uh, translation?

[Rasputin_TheMadMonk]

When on Cronos, do as the Klingons do.

[knak]

Oregon County Seeks Klingon Interpreter

Another version posted earlier.

[dixiechick2000]

Finally! Something worthwhile from the Oregonian!

[SevenofNine]

OMGGGGGG

The world is coming to the end OH WOW

[RichInOC]

Well, we all need...someone...we can Klingon...
And if you want to...you can Klingon me.

[Malsua]

Only a filthy P'taah would say that.

[kAcknor]

 Wouldn't a Klingon just kill a Klingon mental patient...no need for an interpreter then.

kAcknor Sez:

Of course. I told Mrs. kAcknor the same thing this evening when we saw the story.  

Only because the poor devil would wish it so if he were able. It's the only honorable thing to do. :)

(Before this gets out of hand... I'm not really Klingon, I only play one on the internet...)

"batIhHa' vanglu'taHvIS quv chavbe'lu'" (One does not achieve honor while acting dishonorably.)

Have you checked the *bang_list today?

[Equality 7-2521]

Why don't they just invest in a Universal Translator?

[Consort]

[goldstategop]

Everyone knows Hamlet is appreciated by Klingons! ;-)

[Nachum]

Look at that, there are Klingons around Uranus.

[demosthenes the elder]

how does one say "OMFG!" in Vogon septameter?

[Kip Lange]

T'a'pla Q'a'p'la!

Klingons love Shakespeare, and even numbered Treks don't suck, although I haven't seen Nemesis yet. ;-)

And WHAT are they doing to Enterprise? Anyone seen the plot outline for the final episode of this season? Wrecks the Trek timeline...they're gonna have to warp around the sun, go back in time...or just trash the whole danged thing. Roddenbery, Roddenberry, whereforeart thou, Roddenberry? :-(

[Kip Lange]

I don't know -- do you have a Babel Fish handy?

[Pyrion]

"P'tagh." :)