Congressman Billybob Sez: "Who's Next?"

Special to Free Republic ^ | 22 April 2003 | Congressman Billybob (J. Armor, Esq.)

[Congressman Billybob]

This was written as my latest column for United Press International. But, the central image of heads (metaphorically) being dragged through the streets, made my editor nervous. UPI didn't want to publish that.

Since that was the central image of the column, I had the choice of savaging my own column, or not having it run. I chose the latter. However, I think Freepers will appreciate this, so here it is.

Also, a change in the future. UPI wants me to switch to straight columns written in my own name (rather than Ol' Billybob). So, in the future, Billybob is retired where UPI is concerned, but he will remain a feature of my own website. (I kinda like the ol' coot, n thank y'all does, also.)

[TheBigB]

[xJones]

I kinda like the ol' coot, n thank y'all does, also.

It's too bad that UPI went PC, the more-or-less honorable Billy Bob is a hoot!

[Ernest_at_the_Beach]

I kinda like the ol' coot, n thank y'all does, also

You betchya!!!

LOL!

Things are happening:

Senior Bush aides meet to weigh sidelining France for Iraq war stance

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[kylaka]

LOL .... POSSLQ, it even sounds right.

[MattinNJ]

The Rock is going to kick Goldbergs a$$, big time.

[SwinneySwitch]

Just so you all know, we're ashamed that "Captain Dan the Newsman", Blather is from Texas.

[El Sordo]

First we got the bomb and that was good,
'Cause we love peace and motherhood.
Then Russia got the bomb, but that's O.K.,
'Cause the balance of power's maintained that way!
Who's next?

France got the bomb, but don't you grieve,
'Cause they're on our side (I believe).
China got the bomb, but have no fears;
They can't wipe us out for at least five years!
Who's next?

Then Indonesia claimed that they
Were gonna get one any day.
South Africa wants two, that's right:
One for the black and one for the white!
Who's next?

Egypt's gonna get one, too,
Just to use on you know who.
So Israel's getting tense,
Wants one in self defense.
"The Lord's our shepherd," says the psalm,
But just in case, we better get a bomb!
Who's next?

Luxembourg is next to go
And, who knows, maybe Monaco.
We'll try to stay serene and calm
When Alabama gets the bomb!
Who's next, who's next, who's next?
Who's next?

[Ancesthntr]

Most Honored Congressman: Why don't you run for the REAL Congress? I am very serious. Inject a few people like you into that fetid institution, and maybe we'll see some improvement in the drivel that emminates from that end of Pennsylvania Avenue (and less of the unconstitutional laws that are not supposed to be within the realm of federal authority).

By the way, I'd love to see your thoughts regarding the Assault Weapons Ban, and about the latest (apparent) reversal of the Bush Administration's position on its renewal.

[Eva]

All you needed to do to change your metaphor was to add the word "sculpted", as in the sculpted heads of Tom Daschle and Sheila Jackson Lee.

[Grampa Dave]

Great article and thanks for the ping.

With all of the fertile subjects to write about, it must be tough to decide on what lunatic lefties to write about!

[Cordova Belle]

This is hilarious! And yes, I agree with Eva---just add the word "sculpted" and resubmit to UPI.

This one's too good not to see print!!

(Ditto on that run for the REAL Congress!!)

[Congressman Billybob]

I AM thinking about running for Congress for real, in the 11th District of North Carolina in 2004. However, as a researcher on congressional elections since 1976, I know that the bare minimum fund-raising for a competent campaign for the House in 2004 will be $600,000, give or take a few pennies.

So, I will not even declare for that office unless I have raised at least $600,000 from sources not seeking to purchase my vote and my soul. And, if I do not declare, I will return all donations to the donors. Either I do it right with a legitimate chance of success, or I stay out. Doing it halfway is worse than not doing it at all.

Billybob / John

[MrConfettiMan]

Bump!

[Paleo Conservative]

What number is Mexico?

[Only1choice____Freedom]

>>"...I have raised at least $600,000 from sources not seeking to purchase my vote and my soul."

Oh well, There goes that idea.



I told you there would be more chances to use the pig's quote - "Some are more equal than others."

Stick around, there might me some fresh meat to grind.
Oops, sorry PETA.

[Constitution Day]

BUMP

[Constitution Day]

Congressman Billybob's latest!

[Constitution Day]

BUMP

[snopercod]

Outsanding column. I especially like the "moving finger" reference to Omar Khayyam.

I do wish you had pointed out that "freedom of speech" means "freedom from government constraint", not freedom from being shunned by your countrymen when you say something stupid.