I've read them, trust me. I'd like to think Illbay's just having a really bad week. Some would say your conclusions are mistaken, and others would disagree. Chalk it up to Illbay buying his Dr. Dentons at a different store than Sears.
Until then, if it doesn't quack like a duck or swim like a duck, it ain't a duck :-)
Ever think about a career in Meteorology?