Well, if you can get them converted into a digital format, I will get them posted for you. :-)
Rumsfeld's Apology
U.S. Secretary Defense Donald Rumsfeld apologized today for referring to
France and Germany as an "Axis of Weasels."
"I'm sorry about that Axis of Weasels remark," said Mr. Rumsfeld. "I
didn't mean to dredge up the history France and Germany's share of
pathetic compliance with ruthless dictators."
The Defense Secretary said he was "way out of bounds" with the comments.
"I should have known better than to remind people that these two nations
-- which live in freedom thanks only to the righteous might of America,
Britain and their allies -- that these two nations are morally and
politically bankrupt, and have failed to learn the lessons of history," he said.
"It really was an inappropriate thing to say--you know, the Axis of
Weasels thing. I really should not have called them the Axis of Weasels.
I think it's the 'Weasels' part that was most offensive... you know, when
I said that France and Germany form an Axis of Weasels. Of course, I'm so sorry."
The Defense Secretary continued, "I want it to be known that no other man
holds the weasel in as high a regard as I do, and I'll be the first to
point out the crucial role this noble creature plays in our ecosystem. I
went way over the line comparing the weasel to a bunch of rude, unwashed,
leftist Euroweenie surrender monkeys who change their underwear once a month
whether they need to or not."
"And I just did it again, didn't I? I just insulted the monkeys. I'm quitting while I'm ahead."