Do you think the people who might do that to your loved ones would give a flying hoot about your concerns?
Moderately evil people hear your qualms of conscience, and then have qualms of their own. However, truly evil people interpret your qualms of conscience as weakness. Then they kill you.
We did effectively nothing about this problem for 10 years. Our "concerns" and "fears" and "worries" and heartfelt wishes to make the bad men play nice and leave us alone got 3,000 of our citizens brutally murdered one fine fall day.
that's why I wouldn't let my daughters serve.... My son will hopefully not be captured but if he is.... he knows that we don't leave people behind... usually, and trust me , Americans are tortured and killed with indescretion if they serve no useful purpose for the enemy. If you or your family have served the FEAR of torture, physical violence and death are the great obstacles to overcome.
If I captured somebody and they knew where my family was being held.... easy answer... blow torch and epson salts...
If I captured somebody who had raped and killed my daughters and was planning on having some of his friend come and do the same to my wife..... I'd ask the "prisoner" once if he knew the whereabouts of the next attackers then..... blow torch and pliers again.
I know that you would just sit idly by and ask "please tell me where the bad guys are?" maybe keep him awake for 24-48 hours while time ticks away and the bad men move.... not me, sorry... I have a very short attention span and would just cut to the chase and get the answers the old fashioned "messy" way.
That's what makes our country great... you have your opinions and I can have mine.... neat huh?