Replies

Here is the first of the letters from Friar Tuck to Rev. Rufus Adams. But you must go to the WEBSITE to read ALL of the e-mails. HILARIOUS!!!

Dear Reverend Adams,

I have been entreated by the supreme council of the monastery to respond to a letter we received from his excellency, Chief Olusegun Obasanjo, the President of the Federal Republic of Nigeria.

It has been an ongoing source of concern to us that a business deal entered in to by our late bursar, Friar Ignatius Spittle, (God rest his tortured soul) has remained unresolved for so long.

The letter from his Excellency gives us hope that you will be able to resolve the issue. Please advise me as to how we proceed from here.

God speed you in your endeavours,

Bless you Sir,

I remain, your humble servant,

Friar Tuck.

Here is another of Friar Tuck's e-mails:

Dear Reverend Adams,

Thank you for your letter.

The Order of Nasturtium Monks is a silent order and we do not speak apart from an hour set aside for this purpose every year on the first of April.

Consequently we do not use telephones. However this restriction does not apply to the written word. Happily the days of illuminated script on vellum are long gone and in a concession to the technological age we are permitted to use faxes and email.

Our fax number is +613 9326 5378. It is, of course, a 24hr fax.

With regard to the details of the transaction, I was rather hoping that you may know them. As the President himself interested himself in our remuneration and there cannot be too many pipelines laid in Nigeria I felt that you would be able to identify our claim. Would it help if I wrote directly to his Excellency? He said that you would look after the settlement of our claim.

Sadly, the most untimely death of Friar Spittle has left us a little uninformed. He was in sole charge of the transaction. I understand that he had recently made a payment from our funds allocated for renewing reserves of sack cloth and ashes to someone in Lagos (Mr Okafor? That name sounds familiar). The payment was for some sort of tax bill.

Please advise me as to whether this is sufficient information. If it is not I will try to find out some more.

God bless you,

I remain, your humble servant,

Friar Tuck.