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PJ, that story cracks me up every stinkin' time!

I really need to write up that whole experience as a short story. BTW, it would be even funnier if you were to see and hear Larry. He actually does look like an upended tortoise with an adenoidal voice. As to his son Harry, he was a very large guy who was constantly screaming "DAD! DAD!" in response to Larry yelling about what an idiot he was. For a long time Larry was calling my answering machine leaving at least a dozen messages per day demanding that I list more eBay auctions for him. Fortunately he lost my phone number so no more calls.

HEY! My experience with Larry's "cuisine" has given me an idea. If I could ever get that Nigerian Scam Artist to come to the States (and get a TV station to foot the bills in return for secretly videotaping him) I would hold a huge banquet on my palatial estate (provide by the show). Yes, there would be uniformed servants serving our dinner. However, the dinner would consist of the raunchiest foods and the cheapest wines. Imagine a waiter serving up from an iced bucket a bottle of Wild Irish Rose Wine. The main course would consist of Spam with cheese melted over it. Also Chuck Steak, Oscar Meyer Weiners, chicken balogna and mayonaisse white bread sandwiches. The Nigerian might not like the menu but he would have to pretend to enjoy it because he wants to butter me up for his scam.

As a fringe benefit I might even invite Harry and Larry to the dinner. I won't tell them the REAL reason for it. In fact, I'll just tell them I inherited a large stash of money and am holding a celebration party. Harry and Larry are so clueless that they might actually ENJOY the meal. Since they are sure to have their typical familial meltdown, they would provide comedic entertainment as they begin cursing and screaming at each other. Oh, and in honor of Larry, I would also serve up stale jalapeno bagels with melted American cheese inside which I would INSIST that the Nigerian Scam Artist try.