OK, but can't you grow a real moustache? If you are hired you will be paid off with a free drug sniffing dog of your very own.
Ok I'm busy growing one. But let's make me blind (I got some cool sun glasses) and use the dog as a seeing eye companion.....then tell him I'm a former employee of both the DEA and the INS.
I can see him salivating now when we later try to sell him his own border crossing franchise.