[petuniasevan]

The Chain of Command



ADMIRAL/GENERAL
Leaps tall buildings in a single bound, is more powerful than a locomotive, is faster than a speeding bullet, walks on water, and gives policy to God.

CAPTAIN/COLONEL
Leaps short buildings with a single bound, is more powerful than a switch engine, is just as fast as a speeding bullet, walks on water if it is calm, and talks to God.

COMMANDER/LT COLONEL
Leaps short buildings with a running start and a favorable wind, is almost as powerful as a switch engine, is faster than a speeding BB, walks on water in an indoor pool, and talks to God if a special chit is approved.

LT COMMANDER/MAJOR
Barely clears quonset huts, loses tugs-of-war with a locomotive, can fire a speeding bullet, swims well, and is occasionally addressed by God.

LIEUTENANT/CAPTAIN
Makes high marks when trying to leap buildings, is run over by locomotives, can fire a handgun without inflicting self-injury, can doggie paddle, and talks to animals.

LTJG/1LT
Runs into buildings, recognizes locomotives two out of three times, is not issued ammunition, can stay afloat if properly instructed, and talks to himself.

ENSIGN/2LT
Falls over door sills when trying to enter buildings, says, "Look at the Choo Choo.", wets himself with a water pistol, and mumbles to himself.

CPO/SNCO
Lifts buildings and walks under them, kicks locomotives off the tracks, catches speeding bullets in his teeth and chews them, and freezes water with a single glance. He is God!

[snippy_about_it]

These are funny. I have an idea your jokes posted will be the hit of the day. Thank you for your service and support of the Canteen.

[southerngrit]

Great jokes - thanks for sharing. Happy Monday to you.

[LaDivaLoca]

LOL! There are exceptionally great jokes today! Thanks for the laugh everyone.