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Re. #144, ditto!

Friday night humor (and peacenik mockery) break:

One day a teacher read the story Chicken Little to her class. She came to the part of the story where Chicken Little tried to warn the farmer. She read, ".... and so Chicken Little went up to the farmer and said, "The sky is falling, the sky is falling! " The teacher paused then asked the class, "And what do you think that farmer said?"

One little girl raised her hand and said, "I think he said: 'Holy Shit! A talking chicken!'" The teacher was unable to teach for the next 10 minutes.

"PECANS IN THE CEMETERY --From Janice"

On the outskirts of a small town, there was a big, old pecan tree
just inside the cemetery fence. One day, two boys filled up a bucketful
of nuts and sat down by the tree, out of sight, and began dividing the nuts.

"One for you, one for me. One for you, one for me," said one boy.
Several dropped and rolled down toward the fence. Another boy came
riding along the road on his bicycle. As he passed, he thought he heard
voices from inside the cemetery. He slowed down to investigate. Sure
enough, he heard, "One for you, one for me. One for you, one for me."

He just knew what it was. "Oh my", he shuddered, it's Satan and
the Lord dividing the souls at the cemetery. He jumped back on his bike and rode off.

Just around the bend he met an old man with a cane, hobbling along.

"Come here quick," said the boy, "you won't believe what I heard!
Satan and the Lord are down at the cemetery dividing up the souls."

The man said, "Beat it kid, can't you see it's hard for me to walk."

When the boy insisted though, the man hobbled to the cemetery.
Standing by the fence they heard, "One for you, one for me. One for you, one for me..."

The old man whispered, "Boy, you've been tellin' the truth. Let's
see if we can see the Lord himself." Shaking with fear, they peered through
the fence, yet were still unable to see anything. The old man and the boy
gripped the wrought iron bars of the fence tighter and tighter as they tried to get a glimpse of the Lord.

At last they heard, "One for you, one for me." And one last "One
for you, one for me. That's all. Now let's go get those nuts by the fence, and we'll be done."

... They say the old man made it back to town a full 5 minutes ahead of the boy on the bike.