'She told us it was a lovely day - then she was hit by the train'

icNorthWales.com ^ | 2.18.03 | Hugo Duncan

[mhking]

'She told us it was a lovely day - then she was hit by the train'

Feb 18 2003
By Hugo Duncan Daily Post Staff

A YOUNG woman was killed by a train on a North Wales line yesterday just minutes after telling a passing couple it was "a lovely day".

The woman, in her 30s, died when she was hit by the 11.47am service from Llandudno to Manchester Piccadilly, just outside Deganwy station.

She had been sitting on the stile opposite Harbour View Restaurant and Takeaway on Glan y Môr Road, Deganwy, since about 9.30am, looking over the tracks towards Conwy castle.

Moments before the train hit her - the sixth to pass since 9.30am - she spoke to Nigel and Jane Bowler, owners of Harbour View, who were walking their dog.

Mrs Bowler, 37, said: "We took the dog for a walk at 10.50am and she was sat on the stile but moved off so we could get over. She had been there all morning.

"I thanked her for moving and she replied, 'It's a lovely day, isn't it?'. Then she moved for us again when we came back at about 11.30am.

"She seemed fine, like she was waiting for someone, enjoying her day and the view. But a few minutes later the train came out of Deganwy and hit her.

"I feel guilty now having spoken to her - you just don't know what people are thinking. She wasn't upset or crying or anything like that."

The woman has not been identified but is said to be local by British Transport Police, who reported the death to the coroner.

Mr Bowler, 43, said the stile was a popular place when the weather was good. He said: "Lots of people sit on that stile on a nice day and take in the sun and the view across the river.

"But this is terrible. It is an absolutely awful thing to happen and such a waste of a young life. She must have a family, and it must be devastating for them."

The couple, who have two children, said they did not recognise the woman.

Mrs Bowler said paramedics were reading a note which had been left by the woman.

North Wales Police Inspector David Williams said: "It seems she jumped out in front of the train. There are no suspicious circumstances."

The train, operated by First North Western, stopped fur-ther up the line before limping into Llandudno station, where it was taken out of service. Passengers were transferred onto coaches and the line was re-opened at 1.18pm.

[Cultural Jihad]

Sad prayerful bump for the soul of the departed woman.

Stile

[ChemistCat]

That's actually an awesome photo for this situation. If your brain is depressed, you can't see the "stiles" out of the place you're in. It just looks like more fence to you.

[Cultural Jihad]

Every person who comes face to face with the beauty and peace and bliss of God says: "I wish that I could have suffered a little more for thee, O Lord."

[SauronOfMordor]

In a lot of suicides, the manner of death is the suicider's way of saying "screw you" to whoever he's mad at.

There was a man I worked for, a very wealthy man who owned his own brokerage firm. His son decided to suicide by hanging himself in the elevator shaft of the firm's HQ building one weekend. He sure communicated to everybody how dissatisfied he was.

[TrappedInLiberalHell]

I've attempted suicide, multiple times. Guilt trips make it worse, and only push desperate people into desperate acts. When you're suicidal, truly suicidal, all you think about is ending the pain. It consumes you, to the point where you no longer care about hurting other people, or being found. It's like the way a man acts when he hasn't eaten for many weeks. He'll crawl through glass just to eat grubs, and to hell with the blood.

I hear about how people who commit suicide are 'selfish'. Perhaps. But equally selfish, if not moreso, are those who care more about how much it hurts THEM to be left behind by a suicide than they do about truly trying to help a person out of depression, instead of using shame and guilt to hold them back from that final act. The goal should always be to make those who suffer, not suffer. Most of those who commit suicide are no longer able to find other ways to do so. Their psychic pain drives them to end their lives no less than the flames and smoke drove people to jump from the World Trade Center. I don't make that comparison lightly, believe me. I've lost a friend to suicide, as well as an uncle.

You can probably tell that this topic is very personal for me. It is. Just try to remember that some, perhaps most suicides are not done to hurt anybody, or even in full awareness of what their death will mean to others. In fact, the pain is so bad that other people cease to matter. I know this all too well.

Saddest of all are those who kill themselves, who truly are not missed by anyone, because they have become so isolated in their depression. Depression feeds on itself this way. You start losing friends because you are moody or angry much of the time. Having few or no friends adds to the depression. It takes tremendous power of will for someone to pull oneself out of that spiral, and some simply are unable to do so. I came close to being one of them.

[ChemistCat]

I'm sorry if the way I feel about my friend's suicide is hurtful to you...but it's still how I feel. I know my feelings will evolve in time to match my intellectual knowledge of the subject. At the moment I'm just sorry those boys have to spend the rest of their lives without a daddy, and knowing he LEFT permanently, on purpose, even though he knew they needed him.

Some people don't suicide because they don't want their loved ones to deal with it, you know. I don't think everyone reacts the same way to guilt.

[KeyTapper]

My husband, who has had suicidal tendencies in the past, once counseled with a woman who was suicidal. He agreed with her that she had great pain and reason to want to end her life and that it was a valid resolution to her problem. But since suicide is such a final solution, could we see if we can find any other solutions, first. She was completely floored that someone actually would give her permission to do it, so she agreed to put it off. She's still alive and well today and coping with life.

[nonliberal]

Suicide or simply a Darwin Award?

[cyborg]

Good post... One of the signs most often mistaken for someong getting better, is how happy the person is before they committ suicide. Let me explain personally. I remember when I decided to kill myself, I was deliriously happy. I don't think I ever worked any harder or was any nicer to people at work. Think about it. It sounds crazy (and it is!) but the possibly of not having any more problems was almost too irresistable. People who aren't aware such as family members,wouldn't notice this delirium setting in.
Of course, I never made good on my decision. I'm here now and getting full of life.

She definately made up her mind to off herself.

[cyborg]

I never committed suicide because I didn't want to meet Jesus face to face, see His hands and feet, then have Jesus look at my wrists know what I mean? Plus who would help my mom? My father died already, and I have a young sister.

[Revelation 911]

Don't even have internet acquaintances. You must live as a total hermit until you are completely free of anyone who cares

even then they wont escape Christs love - there is always someone who weeps over the loss

[It's me]

Very, very, very well said.

I went through the same feeings of shock and then incredible anger at a friend/aquaintance who did the same thing. He left a stepson and daughter.

[ChemistCat]

...and thank God for that gift.

If only I had known, but I didn't know. He dropped hints to those of us who knew him that we were able to sort out when it was too late. He sent me photos of himself with his sons and I interpreted the photos as a come-on and got VERY cautious with him. I was afraid he was flirting. No. He was trying very hard to reach out to someone, and there was no way I could have known. Did his wife know? He said she had put up with a lot. He said, "marriage is cynical..." but what does that mean? What did it mean to him? We can't know. The interpretor of the grief is gone too.

anyone lived in a pretty how town....

[Cvengr]

OK, both of you go stand in the mirror, and slap yourselves,...WAKE-UP!

Suicide is Incredibly selfish and arrogant.

Slap yourselves again and say to yourself,..I really am an arrogant twit for feeling sorry about these things when Jesus Christ Himself, was given by the Father, and He obeyed the Father,...NOT HIMSELF, but the Father, and was crucified for all of us.

He's already bought and paid for all of us. We are His. We don't have the authority, nor have we bought a damned thing to give us the authority to make a righteous decision to commit suicide.

Anybody considering suicide, is simply ignoring God and placing themselves before Him.

Anybody considering suicide needs to understand that there is NO temptation TOO great than that which may be resisted.

We might have everything going wrong, lose everything, snubbed, insulted, laughed at,...doesn't matter. The more one is attacked in His name the greater the rewards ultimately.

So knock off the whiney, Oh they must have felt so really awful bit and instead let's focus in hard times on how we might glorify Him.

Afterall, He owns us and it's in His will and by His authority when we are to suffer the first death, not ours.

Even in cases of physical suffering, there's a reason for all things. Rejoice that He has placed you in a situation where you can shine His will.

[myrabach]

I had a brother-in-law dying from a particularly painful form of brain cancer... he decided he couldn't take the pain any longer and needed to lock himself in the garage with the truck running. He also decided this was best done on their wedding anniversary, nice touch don't you think [sarcasm]. Also, even after giving specific instructions as to who would go into the garage and retrieve his body-- the unexpected happened and his youngest brother (8 at the time) was the first one in the garage that morning. I don't think I need to tell you the impact.

To this day, I can barely find the rationale behind all this. To lose a young man to cancer and to ruin another young man's life still leaves me sorrowful.

[Cultural Jihad]

... but the possibly of not having any more problems was almost too irresistable.

But it doesn't work that way. A suicide has to return to the world, to take on another body, and be brought to the same level of pain as before, until the correct choice is made. Hence all suicide does is to drag out and extend the pain and make it worse. Hell can seem like an eternity of a hundred miserable lifetimes. < /detached view >

[ChemistCat]

What the heck did I do to deserve that? Please cite from my posts. I'm waiting.

[cyborg]

Funny you say that.. a friend said that to me years ago. I guess the only person that could draw such a conclusion really is an atheist since they don't believe anything. Someone who believes in reincarnation would think suicide is a nightmare.

For some reason, I felt that for me to committ suicide would cause really bad karma in my family's life. Did you ever see the movie What Dreams May Come? His wife goes to hell and she lives a miserable existence.

[Cultural Jihad]

Yes, but I don't remember the plot line at the end with his wife. The photography in the movie was excellent, yes? I liked the part about walking upon the painted scenery.

[ChemistCat]

I have heard that before...from a Buddhist or a Hindu, I forget which, but it's very Eastern-sounding. I don't think I've heard such a doctrine in any Western religion.