And then put the duct tape to good use by taping it on Helen so it STAYS on.
Either there is an attack as they predict, which will be BAAAD.
Or, there will be no attack, this was all hype and innuendo by disinforming islamists in custody, the American people will say "WTF!?", they will think Homeland Security called 'wolf', there will be scores of jokes on Leno/Letterman about the color codes, and then when the next national alert is announced, everyone will ignore it as groundless, and the terrorists could well sink one of their WMD's into action.
They should make the Washington press corps wear gas masks. Especially Helen Thomas.
Doesn't sitting on them damage them?