I nominate dead.
Regards, Ivan
I have been laughing since I read this thing. I called my husband (ex-USArmy) to read it. He's still howling. My 12 year old son is giggling. The Siamese cats are screeching. The Labrador Retriever is howling.
We just got back from my daughter's high school production of "Noises Off" to be greeted by this. It is AT LEAST as funny as the play! (They actually did a pretty good job - the actors not these hopeless liberal loony wannabe crusaders.) Daughter is at the cast party so she's missing all the hysteria, but we'll save it to show to her later . . .