Posted on 02/03/2003 6:13:20 PM PST by softengine
A recent story floating around the variety section of a newspaper I still read occasionally reminded me of a conversation I had with a college girlfriend about six months ago. She's a pretty woman – slender, petite, well-educated and intelligent. She has an excellent, high-paying job and even owns her own house.
She is, in short, the epitome of feminist success. And yet, she is profoundly disappointed with her life. She has, in her own words, continued to stumble upwards while somehow missing out on the only thing she truly wanted – a husband and a family.
Nor is she alone, in anecdotal or statistical terms. Not only do the majority of women who were in our college social circle remain unmarried, but according Barbara Dafoe Whitehead, author of "Why There Are No Good Men Left: The Romantic Plight of the New Single Woman," a 30-something woman is three times more likely to be unmarried than her 1970's counterpart. While some might argue that this is a good thing, most demographics experts would disagree, as would, it appears, an awful lot of those 30-something single women.
While Whitehead correctly identifies the general problem, she is as clueless as the next feminist as to how to go about solving it. Instead of recommending that individuals change the one thing within their power – namely, their behavior – she advocates altering the entire system of courtship. Given this typically fascistic feminist approach, I am, of course, shocked that her six 30-something daughters and nieces all remain available.
But, as I told my friend, the root of the problem is that the kind of man she wants is precisely the man who is smart enough to stay away from her. Smart, educated women aren't willing to date down on the social scale, so the higher they rise, the more they cut down on their available pool of men. Furthermore, the smarter a man is, the more he is likely to realize that being romantically involved with an intelligent, educated, upper-middle-class American woman steeped in 20 years of feminist indoctrination is about as desirable as being flayed alive and rolled in salt.
Consider the premarital professions of the women in my social circle, all of whom are now stay-at-home moms happily married to intelligent, successful men: Farmgirl. Nanny. Teacher. Office manager. Nanny. Pipeline worker. Professional student. Church volunteer. That's eight quality men who won't be marrying a high-powered career girl right there.
The advice I gave my friend was succinct: In any given dating situation, think about what your instincts are telling you – then do the opposite. It's like football … if the run is getting stuffed, then throw the darn ball.
So, in the unlikely event there happens to be a 30-something single woman reading this, here are a few pointers which might be helpful while you wait for Ms. Dafoe Whitehead and company to change the dating culture:
1. Your rights are delineated in the Constitution. Everything else is a privilege.
2. Your family has to put up with you. For everyone else, it's optional.
3. Southern belles always get what they want. Watch and learn, grasshopper.
4. Sex as an incentive is fair enough. Using its deprivation as a punishment will backfire hideously.
5. Mocking your man in public creates a no-win situation. He can either slice and dice you verbally, which is no fun for you, or keep his mouth shut and look like an idiot. In the case of the latter, it doesn't mean that you've won, or that he's forgotten.
6. Men love happy women. Act happy and you may discover how to be happy.
7. If there's a doubt, choose the most optimistic interpretation. That's what he meant.
8. Honey, honey, honey – a thousand times honey. Never vinegar.
9. Conflict is not passion. It isn't any fun, either.
10. Limit yourself to five complaints and demands a day. If you're not counting, you're over the limit.
11. If no one ever taught you the traditional arts, find an older woman to be your mentor.
12. Your feelings and objectively verifiable facts may be different. Learn to distinguish between them.
Now, I'm not saying that applying these principles to your dating scene will turn frogs into princes or anything, but they will get you in the game. And if all else fails, just tell your next first date that you're thinking of quitting your job and returning to your former career as an aerobics instructor. He'll be intrigued, trust me.
But there is more to the biological clock than just the number of eggs a woman has at birth. Waiting longer until pregnancy increases the physical danger to the woman as well as the child. Not to mention that physically, hormonally, and emotionally, a woman in her thirties is far more naturally suited to the difficult task of raising and caring for an infant than a woman in her fifties. Of course a wealthy woman could always just decide to have nannies do all the hard work, but I don't think this is a trend that we want to encourage. Heck, a sperm donor and a turkey baster even make the need for a male partner biologically redundant, but I believe men are far more than just mere sperm donors.
Bottom line is, the clock can and will be extended, but it still exists, and it's a bit of a stretch to say that today's women won't have to worry about it a bit.
"FACTUAL BUMP"!
Completely agree. And I am proud to say that I am one of these women.
Hey you know if you say it enough times it sounds real weird... ehehehe [/Butthead]
Folks think too durn hard about all this stuff. One of my buds said once well, you just got to find somebody who'll put up with yer sh!t. He was right.
So, does that mean that you will advise your daughter to do likewise and not marry an educated, professional, upper-middle class white man because.....
As for boys and our education system. The system is even more destructive to boys than it is to girls, but in a different way.
If you think that being rejected by five random women in a row can only be due to laziness on the man's part, then you must be leading one very lucky romantic life.
Then here's hoping you end up single and alone, bigot! Cheers!
How true, a sign of emotional immaturity.
http://www.noapologiespress.com/editorial/GodSpake/Rants/gsrant5.html
A counterpoint to Vox Day's "Spiting Their Pretty Faces" where women like Ann Coulter are referred to "schlong-dangling dudes with issues" and includes the "ugly meter" for this writer's position that conservative women are ugly.... my oh my, what's a girl to do? I guess some liberal males are as unhappy with successful women as are some conservative males.
It does appear to me there will be unhappy boys in either camp when it comes to successful women so best take the route that suits her and the best love will happen when she meets up with a male secure in his own success with enough confidence to appreciate hers. I know they are out there as I found one :-)
So are we to take this to mean you regularly date fat women? What a nice and open-minded (and unusual) guy you are :-)
I have, newbie. Have you?
Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.