France Surrenders to Texas High School

CNSNews.com ^ | January 31, 2003 | David Burge, the Iowa Hawk

[an amused spectator]

Top of the box! We surrender to your matchless wit. ;-)

[an amused spectator]

Just an FYI - the IowaHawk (David Burge) is a Free Republic alum who posted some major-league humor pieces here during the impeachment wars.

They were LOLROTFPIYP funny. He ain't lost his touch. :-)

[dogbyte12]

The French are sawed-off sissies who eat snails and slugs and cheese that smells like people's feet. Utter cowards who force their own children to drink wine, they gibber like baboons even when you try to speak to them in their own wimpy language.

--P.J. O'Rourke-- Paris is like a whore, from a distance she seems ravishing, you can't wait until you have her in your arms. Five minutes later you feel empty, disgusted with yourself. You feel tricked.

--Henry Miller--

I got a cab in Paris. The driver smelled like a guy eating cheese while getting a permanent inside the septic tank of a slaughterhouse.

--Dennis Miller--

[weikel]

Scorpio: Homer what country should I blow up France or Italy.

Homer: Um, France.

Scorpio: Nobody ever says Italy.

[ewing]

This kid could be the next Dave Berry..

[Poohbah]

IowaHawk, U DA MAN (again)!

[N8VTXNinWV]

a wonderful funny Friday ping... glad to hear about Wooster passing hearing test! Captain, my Captain!!

[Eric in the Ozarks]

Have not seen the Hawk's work lately. Good to see he's still knocking them outta the park.

[SeeRushToldU_So]

OK, I am a confirmed nutcase now. I was laughing so hard at this I couldn't see for the tears. This was almost as good a laugh as being stoned in the 70's and reading Vonnegut.

I need a life.

[MozartLover]

"It may not sound like much, but after three days of smelly French cigarettes and being called 'cowboys' and 'arrogant' and 'stupid' and stuff, it finally gets to you," said Megan Prosser, a sophomore alto who led the initial charge. "Basically, we just snapped." "

Never antagonize an alto.

[WillVoteForFood]

Word from sources close to the Big Ike Invasion Force state that the tide turned in large part due to the threat of invasion by Big Ike's weapons of mass destruction. Said Chirac, "They talked of turning our asses into tackling dummies. We were already very frightened when one of the musical teenagers told us of the atrocities performed one time in band camp. The thought of being manhandled by their most brutish classmates was too much to bear".

[Cagey]

"Hey Rush! Where ya been, man?"

[IowaHawk]

Zee French, zey are a funny race
Zey fight wiss zheir feet and **** wiss zheir face

[IowaHawk]

Nice to see you again Poobah, and thanx for the kind comments.

[Poohbah]

This is another classic, right up there with "Peace Elusive in Midwest."

[IowaHawk]

Thanks, but it was basically a throw-away column. Beating up Frogs is always good for a cheap laugh.

[T Minus Four]

Former President Jacques Chirac was last seen boarding his private Airbus jet at Orly Airport, as the Eisenhower Jazz Ensemble taunted him with an off-key rendition of "Na Na Na Na (Hey Hey) Goodbye."

LOL!!! This was hilarious! It made up for having to come to work today!

T

[Barset]

"French resistance...just a myth." Touche. How can we find your previous articles here on FR?

[IowaHawk]

You could search the FR archives for 'iowahawk'. I don't know how much is still there.

Otherwise use the CNS search engine

http://www.cnsnews.com/MainSearch/Search.html

and search for 'burge'. Most all of my stuff is archived there.

[Travis McGee]

If Hugh reads this, he will need hospitalization after he busts all his stitches!