Goodbye, testosterone

Buffalo News ^ | 1.28.03 | JANE KWIATKOWSKI

[NYpeanut]

Not male bashing, just trying to help. I may gingerly tacking this to the fridge; then again, maybe not.

[NYpeanut]

Going off to watch one of my favorite men now, no problem with GWB's testosterone levels or temperment.

[cmsgop]

I said Goodbye to that when I got married......

So I refer all questions to my Brains State Department.....

[DoughtyOne]

Are you sure they haven't confused this with AWM, the angry white male syndrome? Good heavens, I just become comfortable with one insult and they morph it to another syndrome. I'm also suffering from syndrome overload.

[NYpeanut]

Join the club, brother. Whenever I tell the janitor my office is too warm he says I'm menopausal. Then I get grouchy, which means my testosterone levels are low?

[concentric circles]

For the last ten years I've blamed the Clintons for my increased irritability and now your telling me it was hormones? Ayyyy carumba! Does this mean I'm going to drop Free Republic?

[RightOnline]

Interesting topic, but as a middle-aged male (47), I'd like to offer another possible or maybe just a corollary cause for the symptoms described above.

Let's talk about two things, actually: "hope" and "interest". First, "hope". How many men my age and older (ok, even younger) find themselves in lives that they despise? They are in jobs they dislike intensely, dead-end or otherwise. They start to feel that the dreams they had as younger men just probably aren't going to come true. They get up......have some coffee, read a paper (scan FR?), shower/dress, and commute to a job they don't give a flying fiddler's damn about but pays the bills. They find themselves and their families in lifestyles that demand a certain income level, so they don't dare take what have become "unnecessary risks" any more. I consider this a form of "male neutering", harsh as that may sound. Too many of us become slaves to a "lifestyle" vs. working in a field that provides true satisfaction..............hope for a satisfying, fulfilling career.

As far as "interest" is concerned........and this one may be dicey, but I do NOT intend to insult either men OR women with this little theory / observation.

Maybe the men aren't as interested in sex because that woman they married 20+ years ago just doesn't interest them sexually any longer. Maybe she put on 30 pounds in the intervening years and doesn't take care of herself otherwise.........or JUST as likely, same thing happened to him. so her lack of interest in him is manifested, so he loses interest in her.

IOW, they stop giving a damn about how they look to each other........how attractive they are to each other.........how to be romantic. It's hard to be aroused by a woman who simply cannot arouse you. Take the guys in the article and plop them in front of a nubile 25-year-old and I guarantee that in the majority of cases, you won't see any sign of "sexual dysfunction". Both sexes are guilty of this. It takes work, it takes effort on behalf of both in a marriage.

Trouble is, too many are just too damned lazy to care enough to rectify the situation. That's a sad fact. Hit the gym? Can't be bothered; too time consuming. Diet? Forget it; never works. Get off the sofa and put away the remote control? Well gee, what else am I going to do on a Saturday evening?

People allow themselves to get "comfortable".....and they shouldn't.

I consider myself very, very fortunate in that area, for I've been married to a stunningly beautiful 6' blonde for 25 years (next month) and has given me 7 beautiful children. I want her every bit as much now as I did 25 years ago.......if not more. I try to do things to see to it that I'm worthy of her attention as well.

None of the above necessarily involves a lack of testosterone........but I'll add (as delicately as possible) that due to a cancer scare some years ago and resultant surgery, I'm now producing exactly half the testosterone I was before that surgery. Didn't change a thing. Oh......as for the first, I love what I do for a living and do all that I can to be damned good at it. I challenge myself far more than any "boss" ever could, and I love exceeding my own goals in that job.

Hope this helps somebody.

[dighton]

This kind of post really ticks me off. So does everything else nowadays.

Hmmmmmmm . . . . . . . . . . .

;-)

[general_re]

A new set of neuticles plus heavy alcohol consumption will fix your mood right up... ;)

[aculeus]

... according to an area psychotherapist.

Specialist in treating agoraphobia?

[webstersII]

Interesting topic, but as a middle-aged male (47), I'd like to offer another possible or maybe just a corollary cause for the symptoms described above.

Actually, I think another way to sum up what you've described is to say that these people have become average -- just like any other middle aged person. It takes a strong desire to do something in life to keep yourself moving ahead.

[DoughtyOne]

He he he, that janitor probably has someone on the other side carping about it being too cold. LOL And he's pulling his hair out and writing on his forum that he just can't please everyone. You take care. ;)

[spodefly]

"Men have always been lousy at expressing sadness," Toth added. "We are much better at anger. When we don't know what to do, we get angry. It's our middle name."

" anger is ... the only valid emotion men grow up with"

If men are "lousy" at expressing sadness, only emoting anger, how does one account for the music, literature, architecture, engineering, and art that suggests that men are capable of a profound range of emotion, beyond angry/sad? And how do you account for the many 10's of millions of men that slide into middle age, make less testosterone, get laid less, and yet avoid becoming reactive emotional clods, and still manage to make their 40's and up the best years of their lives? Also, why is it supposed that men have to express emotions, particularly sadness, in a manner consistent with females for that emotion to be valid? Just because I am not over there whining on your shoulder doesn't mean I can't feel sad.

Damn, there I go, getting all emotional. Time to change my patch.

[LuLuLuLu]

You make very valid points, but the article very closely describes my husband of 5 months. He's 49 and I'm 48; we lived together a number of years before making it legal, and I've got to say that he isn't the man I met.

[Proud_texan]

Having crossed that age line a while back might I suggest that perhaps there's just a bit of boomer narcissism here? Trying to be the person you were at 40 when you're 50 will depress you, instead focus on the things you learned between 40 and 50 and how much wiser you are (hopefully!).

It reminds me of when I was a kid, my dad could always beat me at basketball. Why? I was faster, I could jump higher, etc. than he was. I asked him. He said that when he was a kid he used speed, as he got older and the speed left he started using his big butt to block people out. I've never forgotten that, growing older gracefully and leveraging what you have.

Hey, it's the cycle of life that God gave us. Enjoy every minute of it, even the bad parts because without the bad parts you won't know what the good parts are.

[RightOnline]

I appreciate your comments......and I'm sorry to hear that. To what do you attribute such a change? Not to......umm............well, you obviously love the guy enough to have married him and quite recently, at that. Do you think it's a matter of such therapy, or.........? Just curious here, not trying to be nosey. I've heard other women say the same thing many times and have always wondered.......

[Wonder Warthog]

"None of the above necessarily involves a lack of testosterone........but I'll add (as delicately as possible) that due to a cancer scare some years ago and resultant surgery, I'm now producing exactly half the testosterone I was before that surgery. Didn't change a thing."

Well, in part it depends on what the original level was. Half of 700 is a lot better than half of 300. Then again, you may be one of those lucky souls who has a more efficient biochemistry, and need less to get the same effect.

Unfortuantely, for many people, the problem is very real, and in many cases, either undiagonosed or wrongly diagnosed. I've got the problem, and my level had dropped to less than 100 (normal range is 300-1000ug/dl), and in fact I had developed a "skipped pulse" heart rhythm. Fortunately, my physician recognized that "heart rhythm" tic as a potential symptom of low testosterone, and had a blood test done (after sending me to a cardiologist to be sure nothing else was going on). On seeing the results she gave me a testosterone shot, and the effect was magical. The heart rhythm problem disappeared IMMEDIATELY, and a lot of other nebulous irritations/physical complaints also vanished. Amazingly enough, I was NOT having signifcant problems with libido/sexuality at the time.

I suspect that many older males who develop these heart rhythm abnormalities and get put on medications to "regularize the heartbeat" (George Bush I, for instance) are actually suffering from a drop in testosterone.

The article doesn't mention the BEST method of supplementation, with is an under-the-skin timed release implant done every six months, but it is difficult to find a doctor who 1) knows about the procedure, and 2) is willing to do it.

[Marie Antoinette]

Exogenous testosterone is NOT a good solution! As soon as these men stop taking the steroids, they will go right back to the way they were, and probably even be worse off. Their bodies will have compensated by making even LESS hormone, it's a vicious cycle.

I've recently read a very well documented book called Natural Hormonal Enhancement. The website of the author is http://www.extique.com (it looks a little hyped online, but it really is a great read and well researched).

[Wonder Warthog]

"Exogenous testosterone is NOT a good solution! As soon as these men stop taking the steroids, they will go right back to the way they were, and probably even be worse off. Their bodies will have compensated by making even LESS hormone, it's a vicious cycle."

I agree with you on the derivatized analogs of testosterone used in shots, but the testosterone used in the gel and time-release implants is the same as that produced by the body.

Your postulated "bad thing" only applies to weight-lifters and other steroid abusers who try to boost their testosterone to un-naturally high levels to build body mass. Bringing an un-naturally LOW testosterone level up to normal is another matter entirely. The reason you do that is your body no longer makes enough hormone. Those of us on hormone replacement therapy know we will be doing so indefinitely. Why would we stop??

[LuLuLuLu]

What's changed? Nothing. (And i don't think you're being nosey at all.) In fact, my first thought was that the changes had something to do with being legal, but he assures me it's not. Matter of fact, I was more reluctant to tie the knot again than he was.

We have a good, comfortable life, and I've gone through the laundry list of externals that might be the problem.

His job? Stressful, but actually less so now than before. He works for a small company and for a couple of years the owners were paying salary out of their pockets, but that's changed.

Money? According to the Left we're rich, but we aren't. Together we constructed a budget at the beginning of the year that will find us debt free by mid fall (except for the house), so we don't have as much "play" money, but that's by choice. (And only have the debt because we're good Americans and took to heart Ws plea to keep the economy moving after 9/11 :) )

Our respective children are grown and self sufficient.

We live in the same house we did before we were married.

I'm the same height and weight I've been since I was 18, excluding pregnancies, and even though middle age has made me a little softer, I'm on the low end of the weight scale at 120 at 5"6". I'll never be on the cover of a magazine, but I don't need to wear a paper bag over my head, either.

So... I don't think it's external. TBT, I've been thinking brain tumor or something along those lines. Since I met him, Mr. Lu has been mild mannered almost to a fault. He's not a wimp; don't get me wrong. The black belt he holds, he earned. But, like most of us in middle age, he'd learned to let the little sh*t slide.

Lately, however, he's morphed into someone I don't know at all. Someone who will throw shoes (that had been snowcovered and left in the sunroom to dry) because they weren't in the closet. Someone who won't cook (something he loves to do) because a serving dish was not put in the proper place. Strange, irrational behavior.

Am I sure that he's suffering from the syndrome mentioned in the article? Nope, not at all. It just really struck a chord with me.

But back to your point, RightOnline, I think many, many people hit their 40s and 50s and just get bored with who they are because they've spent the prior 20 or 30 years being the same person they were in high school or college.

I thought I had it right this time, with this man, and frankly, I'm scared to death that what I'm seeing is more than hormonal changes.