.jpg)
Posted on 01/09/2003 11:01:10 PM PST by fight_truth_decay
WASHINGTON, DC — Despite previously brushing off talk of a new career on the tube, Bill Clinton has signed a deal to host a syndicated talk/variety show aimed at promoting the Democrat Party and its agenda. His asking price? 50 bj's per month...and a co-hosting spot for his wife, Senator Hillary Rodham Clinton. A 50-bj-a-month payment would be enough to make even Hugh Hefner blush, but it wouldn't be out of line with what Clinton has been getting since leaving the White House.
Above: In the first episode of "The BLT Club," while Hillary Clinton (clutching the Rodham family Bible) looks on, Bill Clinton explains how through God, all things are possible for the Democratic Party.
Worried that their party has been outmaneuvered in the political propaganda wars by conservative radio and television personalities, influential Democrats have been begging Clinton to take on this challenge for months. For decades, Democrats have complained about the difficulty they face in getting their message out in a media traditionally dominated by rightwing, gun-toting, pro-life religious fundamentalists.
Democrats say their concerns have taken on a new urgency because of a recently released study by Le Pew Research Institute, which found that 90% of journalists working inside the United States describe themselves as overtly conservative, and a whopping 97% confessed to voting only for pro-life candidates. Enter Bill and Hillary Clinton. Democrat Party activists say the recent Republican gains have set the backdrop for the emergence of an angry liberal and, they claim, Bill and Hillary Clinton are those angry liberals.
After taping the first episode, people working on the project acknowledged they are venturing into territory where liberals have failed and failed again. But this time they believe they have hit on a winning combination: taking God back and remaking him in their image.
Set on a stage decorated with gaudy French Provincial furniture "borrowed" from the Smithsonian, "The BLT Club" is hosted by Bill and Hillary Clinton who welcome a guest list that is a veritable who's who of Democrat Party politics. Senator Hillary Clinton, joined by Barbara Boxer, Nancy Pelosi, Diane Feinstein, and Patty Murray, open the show with a responsive reading from the Gospel According to Margaret Sanger. Hillary personally chose the passage where a pro-choice Jesus aborts 5,000 then casts the souls of horrified pro-lifers into swine who then drown themselves in the Sea of Galilee.
.jpg)
Then in a segment called "Great Moments in Democrat History," Bill Clinton reenacts one of the most important Oval Office exchanges of his presidency, but in a twist, this time Clinton plays the role of a White House intern delivering a pizza to the Commander in Chief.
But most of the show is dedicated to that function the Clintons do best—raise money and lie. While inviting viewers to call prayer counselors to pray for the Democrat Party, the Clinton's simultaneously promise that a hard or soft money contribution to the Democrats will ensure success in the donor's personal life as well.
Mr. Clinton introduces a series of testimonials from people who were facing financial crisis until they began giving to the DNC.
"Many American couples are on the path to financial destruction," says Clinton as he casts a hypnotic stare into the camera. "In fact, some are living just one paycheck away from poverty, but it doesn't have to be this way."
By giving to the Democratic Party, Clinton explains, donors will benefit from the law of reciprocity. Clinton goes on to tell the story of an elderly woman who had to eat dog food and take her cat's prescriptions because she was so poor. But after pledging to give her monthly social security check to the Democratic Party, she discovered a profitable business picking up aluminum cans along the roadside.
"And now she makes $41,000 per year," Clinton bragged, "placing her among the richest 5% of Americans who will get the entire benefit of the Bush tax cut, all because she had the faith to give her last dime to the Democratic Party."
Despite the bold new format of "The BLT Club" some skeptics still doubt the show will be successful.
"Liberal programs have not worked very well in the past," said DNC chairman Terry McAuliffe, who spoke to BSNN on the condition that he not be identified. "But we believe this is because liberal hosts present policy issues in all of their dry complexity while refraining from taking cheap shots at conservative opponents."
Harry Thomason, the Hollywood producer who is close to Bill Clinton, agreed: "Most liberal talk shows are so, you know, milquetoast, who would want to listen to them? Conservatives are all fire and brimstone."
"With Bill and Hillary Clinton's BLT Club," Thomason continued, "Liberals will get all the fire and brimstone they can handle."
© 2002 www.BSNN.net All Rights Reserved. Reposting to message boards or discussion forums permitted only with this message intact. Any other reposting or use is strictly prohibited.
Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.