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I had a very interesting conversation about this topic at a Christmas party recently. Here's my take on it. When I was a kid (30 some years ago), parents went out to socialize with their friends and left us at the grandparents or with a sitter. If we were included in a social event, it was either because it was family, or it was a (rare) party with other people's children invited, too.

Today's parents (a lot of the ones I have observed through my son's school) plan their social lives around their CHILDREN'S activities. The children have several sports events (or similar activities) on weeknights and the parents are so busy ferrying them about that they have no time for themselves as a couple. They will sit and chat with other parents in the same situation (ie ferrying their kids around to a whirlwind of activities that are just meant to fill the space between school and bedtime), instead of making time to really make and maintain adult friendships and enjoy a social setting free of the kiddies. They are friends with their child's friend's parents only because they show up at the same time in the same places.

It has completely flip-flopped from when I was a kid, and I think giving the children all that power is dangerous and unhealthy. Basically the social life of ones choosing has been abdicated to ones children. That's just icky, IMHO.

I am an only child to a single mom and she worked full-time. I had a great relationship with my grandma, who watched me after school. My mom and I played board games almost every night, but I also read extensively and had lots of friends on my street (that was when you could let kids go out on the street without adult supervision!) My mother NEVER missed a soccer game, but that was the only sport I played. It was my responsibility to get to soccer practice (I had a bike).

Like I said above, I think it's all about love. If you love what your kids are doing and being with them, and you love time alone with your husband, it all works out. As long as your kids know you love them and love your spouse, they will turn out OK.

P.S. I'm all for educational toys, though ... because virtually EVERY toy is a so-called "educational" toy if the kid likes to play with it!

Also many couples complain that when their kids go off to college, they, the parents, discover they have no social life, no friends, no nothing.

One woman told me that once she stopped being active in the marching band boosters, she realized she had no contact with adults at all.

My parents had two sets of life-long friends. They spent quality time with these people and demonstrated to us kids how to have a wonderful friendship that was "forever."

Now my parents are gone and my husband and I are very good friends with my parents' friends! What a wonderful legacy.