Langley, VA January 3, 2003
A window washer employed at CIA headquarters has been taken into custody following charges that he had falsified identification papers in order to gain employment at the top secret intelligence facility.
The employee, known to CIA officials as John Smith, is believed to Salvador Martinez-Gonzalez. He aroused suspicions of his coworkers when he complained, “Washing windows at CIA sucks. I used to set up tents at the White House! I used to be somebody.” Whereupon he produced photographs of himself with President Bill Clinton and the Cheneys.
One of Martinez-Gonzalez’s coworkers said, “Man, that’s when it really got strange. John began ranting in Spanish and attacked the crew foreman with a squeegee.”
After a long standoff with a SWAT Team, Martinez-Gonzalez was persuaded to put down his squeegee and surrender. A court appointed lawyer representing Martinez-Gonzalez said, “ We are working with Federal officials to ensure that Smith will soon have his job back as a tent setter-upper at the White House.”