Satire: Most Popular U.S. Baby Names [for Black, White and Asian students in U.S.]

The Onion ^ | December 25, 2002 issue | The Onion Staff

[glory]

I've got you topped. A company I worked for had a client named Anil Dikshit. There were so many notes on his account pleading with anyone who got him that this was in fact his real name and to treat him with respect and it wasn't a prank call. It was prounounced a bit of an Indian accent, but it indeed sounded like the way you would expect.

[glory]

Well got that topped. On an expectant list I was on a few of the names for caucasian male children were Storm, Riley Thunder, Asher, and Thor. As for girls--too many Hannahs to mention! LOL

[dighton]

Oh, no!

Both names are fairly common in India. The last name is awkward enough; the combination, fatal.

[smoking camels]

neither did I... so there!

[glory]

Settle down Hebrew 11:6, here is the ACTUAL top ten names of 2001--plenty of biblical names in that top ten:

Boys: Girls:
Jacob
Michael
Matthew
Joshua
Christopher
Nicholas
Andrew
Joseph
Daniel
William

GIRLS

Emily
Madison
Hannah
Ashley
Alexis
Samantha
Sarah
Abigail
Elizabeth
Jessica

PS I didn't name mine biblical names. I don't tend to think that those who do are any more righteous than those who don't since probably most don't know or don't care of the origin of the name they are using or only know it as a family name.

[Hebrews 11:6]

No good deed goes unpunished.

[glory]

Perhaps further back:

Briana English version of the male name Brian from the Old Celtic meaning noble. Other forms include Brianna/Brianne.


It appears to be a feminine version of Brian

[Hebrews 11:6]

Your list doesn't specify racially, thereby demonstrating nothing. Being "righteous", as you put it, is not at issue here. My point is that any parent or group which ignores the Bible when naming their kids is also likely to ignore it, and its Author, in every subsequent aspect of child-rearing.

We did name ours Biblically; indeed, they're both in the same Bible verse (Joanna and Susanna in Luke 8:3). Moreover, we gave them both the middle name Christine, which is the feminine for Christian. We reasoned that if we were to die they would still know our hope that they would become Christians. Happily, at 22 and 21 they are, although I'm sure that's completely coincidental.

Still want me to settle down?

[Hebrews 11:6]

Thanks for the interesting info. Happy New Year!

[Hebrews 11:6]

Incidentally, as you can see I applied the same to myself in selecting a screen nickname.

[glory]

Hee hee..hey, tell your wife that I'm a fan of Y&R too, but haven't had any inclination to use a soap name since I was a teen--should get her thinking;-) There are already too many Ashleys, Brookes, etc out there. On the other hand ther are some nice normal names on Y&R like Jill, Jack, Colleen, John, Nicholas, Victoria, Grace, Billy, Sharon, Paul, and even Phyllis! But I bet it's the Brittney's, Brooke's, Ridge's, etc that she's leaning towards or you probably wouldn't have such a beef;-)
As for Irish names, we made good use of one--our son is Ryan(Irish--little king), he has the roots on both sides. Our daughter is Melissa(possibly Greek roots, possibly a simplified version of a Gaelic name Moeloeisha? which means Sweet Jesus).
Good luck with future names. We are going with either Amanda/Lauren or Kyle/Jacob if we have another child.

[glory]

And this is a concern for all races mlmr, and good point btw. One of our concerns in naming our children was having names that would be acceptable if they became business men or women, doctors, etc. I just think it would be hard to take a Dakota Smith seriously as a judicial nominee or something and we have known adults now coming into some of these funky names who choose to use their usually much simpler middle names of Jennifer, Elizabeth, Samuel, etc as they enter the work force over their given exotic first names.We wanted our kids to shine and excel for their character and behavior, not because they have a funky name. I commend you for giving your children names they can live with.
I can't help but think when I see names like Dakota, Montana, particularly when they come into single family homes that they are trying to bring some grandeur to a child born in dismal circumstances, not to mention much of it is about being narcisistic and not doing what is really best for the child long term ie giving them a normal name that they can take into any profession with them--many of the parents are more concerned that their buddies ooh and aah over the cute, original name that they gave their baby.

[glory]

See my reply, there are plenty of good names on that show, but my guess is his wife is leaning towards the more exotic names like I mentioned instead of the plain jane ones that are the norm on Y&R at least. Bold and the Beautiful has many more exotic names than Y&R for sure. Heck, Y has Victor, Nikki, Victoria, Nicholas, Noah, Colleen, Jack, Jill, John(2), Billy, Phyllis, Paul, Olivia, Neil, Kathryn, Esther, Anita, ETC!!! And that's the mainstay of characters on that show to boot. What's funny is we recently found out a characters "real" name that he had shortened to JT and it was a bit more cutesy kid name--Jeremy Todd...as I was saying, almost another case, even in a daytime soap, of a child choosing to use an acronym or a middle name to make life easier. Now I think of it, even the trendier names on the show get shortened frequently--Brittney--Brit, Ashley--Ash, Bradley--Brad, etc to make them more grown up in my estimation.

[glory]

We had considered my mother's maiden name for a son--Carter, but it just sounded too trendy to me, especially with that ER character. Couldn't do it on my dad's side--don't think my son would take to kindly to a --ski for a first name;-)

[glory]

That's it--you pinned it. People are trying to infuse an instant personality on the child with a name. I do believe that you are right, they picture what they think a Madison or Dakota will be like and they are hoping that name will give the child an infusion of that hope they have for him/her. Unfortunately, when people invision this child, they don't see past the age of 5 or so or they wouldn't even consider some of the names I've seen listed on this thread.

[ModestoMama]

My husband, born in the mid-50's, is named Ashley! Everytime he hears his name called now it's often someone calling for their 5 year little girl!! He got quite a bit of teasing going through school until they actually met him. One look at him and they'd know he wasn't the type you teased! We named our son a good solid name---Scott!

[glory]

Destiny or Desiree says trailor park to me. I have never known a child by this name who did not come from a single white female who either accepted WIC, lived in a nasty trailor park(or had relatives who did), or stripped for a living in a dive bar(or all three).

Brandi is high on the list too.

[Mr. Mojo]

This is really not a joke, as Asian students tend to take on American names. White Americans tend to invent new names.

Correct on all counts (except that both "Propecia" and "Sinutab" were indeed jokes). A buddy of mine just named his (white) kid (boy) 'Drake', and his older daughter is named ....something so wild my memory fails.

[FreedomCalls]

599.

[SW6906]

600