You seem to feel that the yardstick measuring the worth of your life is one related to your ability to throw words that bite and hurt. Well, that puts you in good company with others -- Maureen Dowd of the New York Times comes to mind, though she is admittedly of a different political persuasion. But your yardstick is foolish, and as you pound away on your keyboard, slaying the dragons you see out there on the horizon, you are merely blowing in the wind or climbing ladders leaning against the wrong tree. Maureen Dowd thinks she wins the "best biting wit of the year award" each December, but she sways no one with her writing and just gives New York liberals a warm feeling in their heart while drinking their coffee.
There are other ways to heal yourself than just being angry. I know you won't listen. Perhaps someday you'll be transformed like Saul of Tarsus. I'll conclude all my remarks on this note.
RLK, look into Reformed Baptitst...