[Quix]

I don't think you ignore God.

I sort of have an impression of you walking along . . . diddly bopping along and looking at God out of the corner of your eyes periodically.

The biggest part of me suspects your earthly daddy didn't do a bang-up job of flooding you with all the support, affection, attention, respect, faithfulness etc. you may have needed at the critical early 6 years or so of your life . . . and/or at key points thereafter on key issues and situations. I know what that's like.

People from that sort of background have a real aversion to letting go and letting God--reallllllllly trusting God to faithfully Love and care for them day after day after day after day.

And the pain of trusting, hoping He will--and then feeling tripped or falling on your face redundantly instead of feeling caught and cherished by and all faithful Father--that pain is tooooooooo intense, deep, troubling to risk much again--even with God, maybe especially with God.

Perhaps that doesn't fit for you. But I wouldn't be surprised if it did. It fits for me. Have made lots of progress beyond it. But this current long dark night of the soul that's not yet over for me has greatly dented my trust in God in some areas. I can say all the right things in my head. But I'm having to trust Him to rewire my heart, emotions, trust areas etc.

[yendu bwam]

But I'm having to trust Him to rewire my heart, emotions, trust areas etc.

Hey Quix. Trust Him. He'll do the right rewiring! He may not do it in the way you expect. He may not do it in the way you think you want. But when it's done, you will love Him even more.