[lodwick]

Top Ten Features Of The New Elvis Theme Resort


10. Each room has a combination jacuzzi/deep fryer

9. Diners get to vote between the "young" lasagna and the "old" lasagna

8. Mirrors that make you look bloated and sweaty

7. Free cholesterol screenings

6. Every hundredth customer wins an all-expenses paid short-lived marriage to Lisa Marie Presley

5. Complimentary sideburns left on your pillow

4. Saturday clambakes hosted by guy who played "Paul the bartender" in the Elvis movie "Clambake"

3. The opportunity to take part in the worst financial scheme since Enron

2. 24-hour pharmacy, no prescriptions needed

1. Two words: sequined soap

[FreeTheHostages]

ROFL!