I used to work in a pharmacy. When asked what the most effective type of contraception was available, the head pharmacist would always reply "Two aspirin, placed and held firmly between the woman's knees." :)
I brought my wife two aspirin last night before bed. She asked ...
"What are these for ?"
I said ... "for your headache dear"
She said ... "I don't have a headache"
I said .... "AAh HAAAA"