Johnny was being uncharacteristically quiet, and so the teacher asked him about his father.
"My father's an exotic dancer in a gay cabaret and takes off all his clothes in front of other men."
The teacher hurriedly set the other children to work on some colouring in and took little Johnny aside to ask him "Is that really true about your father working in a gay strip club?"
"No," said Johnny, "he really plays test cricket for England but I was too embarrassed to say."
[,,, telling that one wouldn't make me a criminal, would it?]