History is merciless- the strong will survive, and the weak will go down, despite their protestations and whimpers.
To lie back and "take it" is stupid. God did not mean for anybody to do that. I just don't know where those people get their ideas.
Well, how about Jesus' teaching, in Matthew 6:14-15?
14For if you forgive men when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. 15But if you do not forgive men their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins.
This is a tough one to swallow to somebody who has been wronged like Gary Witherall, but there is a reason for it.
The Bible clearly seems to teach righteous self-defense. However, this is not a case of self-defense any more. The murder has already been committed and the perpetrator is gone. Now, the responsibilty for righting the crime is up to the State. But, because, the State and it's justice is very imperfect and often incomplete, the ultimate justice - vengeance, if you will - is up to God. Usually, He seems slow on the uptake, but we can't see all He is doing or will do. All we are assured of is, His perfect justice will be done.
That's not at all an easy pill to swallow, as this innocent woman's blood clearly cries out for justice. We are afraid justice will never be satisfied, but it will - in God's timing, and it will be perfect to fit the crime.
But, the problem goes even farther than that. What about the poor husband? Why should he "forgive"? To continue to harbor thoughts of personal vengeance and murder in retaliation constitutes sin, and is personally corrosive. Well, there is little the husband can effectively do to right this evil. That is now up to the State (maybe America and her soldiers, maybe a clandestine bullet from a dark alley, maybe an assassin on the run until death, who knows?) and God, ultimately - even if the State somehow manages to catch this killer.
Mr. Weatherall needs to "forgive", not becasue of some lame way of preventing justice, but because to not do so will ultimately destroy Mr. Weartherall, which compounds the evil of the murder - about which he can do nothing to prevent or "even up".
Have you ever met somebody who has carried an unfulfilled grudge for years? It's not pretty. It destroys the person inside and out and turns his desire for complete justice into bitterness, then bitterness into hate, and then hate into a self-consuming fire which destroys his happiness, personality and life. In the meantime, the one whom committed the crime goes merrily about his way, which is the way of the world, undeterred or unaffected by the victim's hate. The unforgiveness in a person's heart usually does the worst damage to the one holding it (I'm talking about personal unforgiveness here, not the corporate State).
It's a tough teaching, but it is for our own good, not for letting off the one who personally wronged us. "Forgiveness" is not a justification to let the murderer skate free. It frees us from ongoing sin and slow destruction, but does not free the killer. The killer will get his ultimate reward, both here and hereafter, although we may not see it!