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Effects of abortion can be long lasting
The Pioneer (Bemidji, Minnesota ) ^ | November 30, 2002 | Mark Peske

Posted on 11/30/2002 7:16:19 PM PST by madprof98

As a counselor, I get quite an education. Most of my professional counseling is done at an alcohol and drug treatment center. There I sit with individuals as they go through the "5th Step" - admitting to God, to themselves and to another human being the exact nature of their wrongs.

I listen as people tell me their life's story, as it really was, realizing that if they don't follow the steps to recovery, they are going to die of the absolutely fatal disease of alcoholism. Many people are getting honest with themselves for the first time in their lives. I routinely hear the phrase, "I've never told anyone this, but ..."

So I get firsthand accounts of child abuse, rape, burglary, murder and family tragedies. But one experience I hear about stands out for the intensity of emotion it generates in human lives. It's the experience of abortion.

It's a subject we don't talk about much. Except when it's couched in political rhetoric of phrases like "pro-life" or "pro-choice." But I'd like to step back from the political fray for just a moment to offer you a glimpse of what I've seen from the insider's view - from those who've gone through the experience and lived to tell about it.

There are any number of things that are difficult for people to talk about. And men's "most difficult subjects" are different from women's. But when their recovery depends on getting honest, I have heard women tell about being sexually abused as children, being beaten or raped by men, stealing money from their own children and working in prostitution. Many of these stories are told through tears.

But I have never seen such anguish on the face of a woman as I have witnessed on the faces of those who've told me about their abortions. Grief at the loss of their children, plus guilt at their own part in it, combine like the two arms of a giant emotional pliers to grip the souls of these women, contorting their faces in pain and squeezing tears from their eyes.

One woman told me about her recurring nightmare. "It's not a visual dream. It's what I hear - a baby crying desperately, like it's in pain. I always wake up sweating and screaming."

Another woman told me about her efforts to kill herself after her abortion. Many such women doubt they can ever be forgiven, or forgive themselves, for what has happened. Honestly, I don't think I could continue sitting with women in this type of setting if I did not have recourse to the healing power of One who carried the pain of every woman's abortion to a Roman cross, and there cried, "Father, forgive them, for they don't know what they are doing."

I was also somewhat surprised to see how strongly an abortion can affect another group of people - the fathers. One 46-year-old man told me how he had gotten his girlfriend (eventually to become his wife) pregnant when they were in college. They went to three of their professors for advice.

"We really looked up to them. They were so intelligent and attractive. They told us the only sensible thing to do was get an abortion. No one ever said it was wrong. It was illegal in North Dakota at that time so we drove to South Dakota where it was permitted by law.

"We got back to our apartment and just laid around, feeling like zombies for a couple of days. Then we got back into our classes. After that we never talked about it with anyone again. But after a couple of years passed and we got married, I started to think about what we'd done and became increasingly uncomfortable about it. But I've never talked about it with anyone till today."

And an 18-year-old young man who'd gotten his girlfriend pregnant when she was 16 described it like this:

"After the abortion, I felt like my heart had been ripped out. I've thought about it every day for the past two years. I've always felt like I could never forgive myself."

Perhaps part of the problem is that women who end up going for an abortion are always (like the situations described here) in a "crisis pregnancy." They are not "settled down" with a loving husband to take care of them and their child.

But one thing I am becoming increasingly convinced of is this: Whatever troubles a pregnant couple may find themselves in, an abortion never solves the problem. It only creates a much larger one!

If you are suffering from the effects of an abortion, call your pastor or a trusted friend and ask if you can talk with them. The road to healing always begins with finding someone to whom we can tell our story. If you have no one you feel you can turn to, give me a call at 755-9132.

Don't suffer alone any longer.

Mark Peske of Bemidji does 5th Step counseling at Pine Manor Drug/Alcohol Treatment Center near Nevis.

©The Pioneer 2002


TOPICS: Culture/Society; Editorial
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To: jlogajan
i dont recall the article saying a thing about any one forcing the guilt on the aborters. as a matter of fact... how many people make abortions public business? so why would anyone confront someone they didnt know committed such an act?
21 posted on 11/30/2002 8:32:37 PM PST by MacDorcha
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To: MacDorcha
in other words... you dont need to be posting here
22 posted on 11/30/2002 8:33:25 PM PST by MacDorcha
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To: Texas Eagle
in either case, the thread tells of how both men and women felt remorse..... deal with it, a growing mass of tissue and human genes is human. it is growing, it is consuming, it is adapting. it is alive. abortion stops a life. killing someone that hasnt even made its first sin is wrong by all counts. truth be told, you better be damn glad your folks didnt think abortion was a hot idea for you....
23 posted on 11/30/2002 8:37:50 PM PST by MacDorcha
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To: Texas Eagle
funny, ive been so depressed at times where if giving all of my possesions would have gotten rid of that heart ripping, i would have done it. aparanently you never felt it, how do you know you have a heart if it doesnt hurt?... hell, im pretty sure you are one of the reasons why liberals can depict us as assinine.... AND GET AWAY WITH IT!
24 posted on 11/30/2002 8:42:40 PM PST by MacDorcha
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To: MacDorcha
that is of course, if i didnt miss some sarcasm
25 posted on 11/30/2002 8:44:32 PM PST by MacDorcha
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To: MacDorcha
in either case, the thread tells of how both men and women felt remorse..... deal with it, a growing mass of tissue and human genes is human. it is growing, it is consuming, it is adapting. it is alive. abortion stops a life. killing someone that hasnt even made its first sin is wrong by all counts. truth be told, you better be damn glad your folks didnt think abortion was a hot idea for you....

Am I mis-reading your post or did you reply to me by mistake? It sounds as if you're attacking me for something I said when I agree with everything in your post.

26 posted on 11/30/2002 8:47:35 PM PST by Texas Eagle
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To: madprof98; TaRaRaBoomDeAyGoreLostToday!
Yea, I don't think you will ever see something like this in the NY Times.

Freedom of choice = Lifetime of guilt, remorse, sadness and depression and a murdered child.
27 posted on 11/30/2002 8:51:47 PM PST by Coleus
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To: MacDorcha; Texas Eagle
hell, im pretty sure you are one of the reasons why liberals can depict us as assinine.... AND GET AWAY WITH IT!

See there Texas Eagle! It's YOUR fault that the proaborts have criticism of the abortion abolitionists.

My GOAL is not to avoid hurting peoples feelings or have the proaborts think I'm a nice person. My goal is the abolition of abortion, stopping the slaughter of 25,000 babies every week.

I'm not praying for peace. I'm praying for the abolition of abortion.

28 posted on 11/30/2002 8:55:44 PM PST by Lester Moore
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Comment #29 Removed by Moderator

To: Lester Moore
My GOAL is not to avoid hurting peoples feelings or have the proaborts think I'm a nice person. My goal is the abolition of abortion, stopping the slaughter of 25,000 babies every week.

Amen, bro! (sorry if that sounds too religionoid-ish).

30 posted on 11/30/2002 9:27:18 PM PST by Texas Eagle
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To: Lester Moore
I'm not praying for peace. I'm praying for the abolition of abortion.

Why can't you do both? CD

31 posted on 11/30/2002 9:28:24 PM PST by CindyDawg
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To: madprof98
I once attended a lecture by a doctor from UofM (Michigan) about abortion. She stated that a Finnish study showed that a teenage girl who had an abortion is 7 times more likely to attempt suicide than a teenage girl that never got pregnant. A teenage girl who got pregnant, but had her child, was 1/2 as likely to commit suicide than a teenage girl who never got pregnant.

Pregnancy, and having kids, actually increases survival chances of teen girls. Having an abortion greatly reduces survival chances of teen girls. Who's pro woman, again?

She also stated that the medical establishment is immensely PC. They would not even publish her research on abortion because it put abortion in a negative light. They went through the motions as if they were goign to publish it, in a very prestigious Journal, but then suddenly, rejected her paper.

For some reason, no one seemed interested in looking into and corroborating the Finnish study.

32 posted on 11/30/2002 11:58:23 PM PST by MichiganConservative
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To: Texas Eagle
Whoa, Texas Eagle -- seems to me that what this young man needs is understanding, not anger. He is admitting his guilt, and an angry reply that he is a "puke" and off the hook as regards child support is totally off base.

I abhor abortion but it is a reality and those men and women who come seeking repentance should be welcomed with open arms and forgiven.

Incidentally, the day has already come when more than 50% of women think that abortion is wrong. The trouble is, is that a similarly-sized majority (I think it is 55%) also think abortion should still be legal. So, the sentiments of women is that abortion is still a personal decision between a woman and her doctor.

33 posted on 12/01/2002 5:46:24 AM PST by tom h
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To: madprof98
Thank you for posting this. Two of the people I know personally who have had abortions have serious emotional and depression problems. I have no idea what part abortion plays in their problems, but I can't help suspecting it plays a big role.

At the very least, we need to talk more about this aspect of abortion.
34 posted on 12/01/2002 11:22:52 AM PST by Lorianne
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To: Texas Eagle
see post 25...
35 posted on 12/01/2002 12:04:43 PM PST by MacDorcha
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To: CindyDawg
Truth is more important than Peace... i guess you can have both, but only when everyone agrees on what Truth is... and then you have the dilema of noone thinking on their own.... would you rather have violence or no thinking?
36 posted on 12/01/2002 12:09:15 PM PST by MacDorcha
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To: Texas Eagle
Yeah, well you little puke, two years of guilt sure beats 18 years of child support doesn't it? At least your heart was only ripped out in a figurative sense.

The Gospel According to John
Chapter 8
 
5: Now Moses in the law commanded us, that such should be stoned: but what sayest thou?
6: This they said, tempting him, that they might have to accuse him. But Jesus stooped down, and with his finger wrote on the ground, as though he heard them not.
7: So when they continued asking him, he lifted up himself, and said unto them, He that is without sin among you, let him first cast a stone at her.

37 posted on 12/01/2002 12:26:30 PM PST by AnnaZ
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To: AnnaZ
The Gospel According to John Chapter 8 5: Now Moses in the law commanded us, that such should be stoned: but what sayest thou? 6: This they said, tempting him, that they might have to accuse him. But Jesus stooped down, and with his finger wrote on the ground, as though he heard them not. 7: So when they continued asking him, he lifted up himself, and said unto them, He that is without sin among you, let him first cast a stone at her.

I've read my posts over and over again and I don't see where I said that the little puke should be stoned to death. Oh, wait....you think the guys Jesus was talking to were about to pelt the prostitute with VERBAL stones. Well, I'm sure you've used this argument before thinking you scored major points, but let me assure you, those guys were going to stone the prostitute to death not call her names. See the difference?

38 posted on 12/01/2002 1:56:33 PM PST by Texas Eagle
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To: jlogajan
Especially with the religionoids screaming "Murderer!" in your face for the rest of your life.

The dude in the article wasn't screaming "murderer" in their faces. He was trying to help them get on with their lives by getting over their pasts.

39 posted on 12/01/2002 2:04:40 PM PST by maxwell
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To: Texas Eagle
I've read my posts over and over again and I don't see where I said that the little puke should be stoned to death. Oh, wait....you think the guys Jesus was talking to were about to pelt the prostitute with VERBAL stones. Well, I'm sure you've used this argument before thinking you scored major points, but let me assure you, those guys were going to stone the prostitute to death not call her names. See the difference?
 
I wasn't trying to score a point, just make one. I think Jesus was, as he often was, explaining our inability to stand righteously or superiorly on our own.
 
From the article:

And an 18-year-old young man who'd gotten his girlfriend pregnant when she was 16 described it like this:

"After the abortion, I felt like my heart had been ripped out. I've thought about it every day for the past two years. I've always felt like I could never forgive myself."

Your comment:

Yeah, well you little puke, two years of guilt sure beats 18 years of child support doesn't it? At least your heart was only ripped out in a figurative sense.

 
I found your statement to be harsh and heartless. Have you never made a mistake? Never operated out of fear or ignorance? Are you blessedly free of regret or guilt? If so, then by all means call him a "little puke".
 
(Although I find that it helps to forget that, generally speaking, we all are.)

40 posted on 12/01/2002 2:14:58 PM PST by AnnaZ
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