Would Jesus Buy an SUV?

The Chalcedon Report ^ | 11-21-2002 | Timothy D. Terrell

[Wallace T.]

Jesus was a carpenter. I suspect he would drive a pickup truck!

[ItisaReligionofPeace]

A 4x4 no doubt!

[Sungirl]

What is their problem? Of course he would...and one big enough for all the apostles to boot. MAybe a Suburban?
IF they are so upset over this...why aren't they going after trucks and semi's and the deisel engine which gives off fumes that make you sick when you are behind it?? What a joke!

[babygene]

I think he would buy a Humvie. That might hold 12 passengers.

[dasboot]

According to 60% of televangelists, JC would tool around in a Cadillac.

[NativeNewYorker]

Cultural historians will marvel at a nation so strong and full of faith that it could spend time contemplating how our central religious figure would travel in our world.

BTW, as a NativeNewYorker who rarely drives, I wonder what subway line He would commute on.

I think He would take the 4. It starts in an Irish Catholic neighborhood, skirts a place of resting souls (Woodlawn Cemetery), looks upon the poor and the laborers, passes the Mother Church of baseball (Yankee Stadium), then bends down toward Hades before crossing the rive into Sodom. :)

That was humor, and I hope no one is offended.

[anniegetyourgun]

No, no...the bible tells us what they drove back then, silly.

".....and they were all with one Accord...." Acts 5:12b

[eccentric]

lol good one!

But the truth is, Jesus wouldn't BUY a car. He would have ridden in whatever vehicle someone offered as a ride.

[Texaggie79]

Alas, I have lost the image of the winking Jesus giving a thumbs up. I was going to edit a photo of Him next to an SUV :(

[deport]

Check over here ... If'n you all can't find the answer.. lots of other threads with plenty of discussion

[anniegetyourgun]

I know...I know...foxes have holes and birds have nests...but the Son of Man didn't have wheels....

[Eric Esot]

Love this one...

First off, he was a carpenter so he would have driven a pickup truck to carry his tools and lumber, certainly a truck with an extended bed to carry drywall and plywood sheathing. Since Jesus' work takes him among thieves, he'd need a deluxe locking toolbox behind the cab.

Jesus would need more than just cargo space. With all those disciples, he'd be carrying a lot of passengers, so we'll equip his truck with a super crew cab. Jesus' demographics skew working-class, so we'll put a rack over the rear window. No, not for guns. For Peter's fishing gear.

I think we're looking at top-of-the-line trucks here, a GMC Sierra 2500, a Ford F-350 or a Dodge Ram 3500. Those little toy trucks won't do.

The best roads in Roman times were fitted stone blocks that would shake a lesser vehicle to pieces and the ordinary roads were little better than paths heavily rutted by ox carts. So we'll need heavy-duty shocks and springs and maybe we better jack the body up off the frame a little for better ground clearance. Dual rear wheels wouldn't hurt, either.

Since he'll be using the truck to journey to the mountaintop and sojourn in the wilderness, he'll need off-road capability, four-wheel drive, oversize tires and brush guards over the grille.

Being a helpful sort, Jesus may want to help his neighbors get to market by throwing their oxen in the back and towing their carts. So we'll need the towing package and the oversize side mirrors. And of course Quadrasteer for the narrow streets of Jerusalem.

There's no sense scrimping on power, so we'll go for a 6.6-liter turbo diesel putting out at least 325-horsepower. Jesus was of course familiar with the feast of Hanukkah, in which the oil in the lamps was continuously replenished, so fuel consumption shouldn't be a big deal.

We'll opt for the five-speed automatic transmission so he'll have one hand free to bless the multitudes. And a CB with twin antennas to better spread the Word.

Jesus did much of his work among the poor and dispossessed, and you might think that would require a clunker with a dragging tailpipe or at least an austere little econobox. But that would be patronizing and demeaning. He should drive the kind of vehicle that the poor and dispossessed would drive if they weren't poor and dispossessed. That means we go with the complete chrome option package and a boom car quality sound system.

The color? White, of course. White symbolizes all kinds of good things in the Bible, but Desert Tan might be nice, too. A vanity plate? Let's not press our luck.

So how will we know if this is truly What Jesus Would Drive?

Because people will look at it, spread their arms, look heavenward and say, "Good Lord, now that's a truck!'

Credit: Dale McFeatters

[DannyTN]

Somehow I find the trivialization of Jesus to answer the question of what vehicle he would drive to be somewhat offensive. But I will use it to recap some of his qualities.

Understand first of all that Jesus has the ability to eliminate pollution and extend oil reserves in the blink of an eye. Neither is really an issue to Him, except as an example to us to be good stewards in our duty to care for the earth. He knows the future so He knows the timing of new technologies and their impact.

We know that He was humble in that He came in as a babe in swaddling clothes and rode into Jerusalem on a donkey and was willing to die in the most shameful way. But we also know that He was called a wine-bibber and a glutton, so it's not a foregone conclusion that he would deny himself the pleasure of an SUV. However, I doubt he would choose a vehicle of "status" such as a cadilac that offers no additional practical functionality. Indeed He may have harsh words for the TeleEvangelists as he did for the Pharisees of the day.

The arguments that as a carpenter he would lend toward a truck or van, or that as a minister with 12 deciples he would lean towards a larger vehicle are excellent practical arguments.

Jesus would tell us that we are not defiled by the vehicle we drive, but rather what proceeds out of our hearts. That sin still originates in our desires and it's our desires that we have to conform to His, our minds that must be transformed, and our love for others that must grow if we would be victorious over sin.

I think Jesus would deal with so many other issues first, that whether or not to drive an SUV is not going to come up for a long long time.

[jslade]

Here you go!

[Death before dishonor]

Jesus was a revolutionary, a free thinker, a loner, He would drive a Harley!

[Lokibob]

More importantly, what would Jesus do, for a Klondike bar?

[ATOMIC_PUNK]

Gimme a break he wouldnt buy a vehicle under his stature he wouldnt even drive... That would be taken care of for him in this day and age this is prolly what he would ride in!

[ATOMIC_PUNK]

More importantly, what would Jesus do, for a Klondike bar?

Just ask for it !

[IronJack]

Would Jesus Buy an SUV?

No, he'd probably lease.