Forget all that!!! Just make sure you never PING, BUMP or BTTT Arthur McGowan.
Thanks for the advice, I won't either.
The following is an actual excerpt from some issue Forbes Magazine:
A herd of buffalo can only move as fast as the slowest buffalo. And when the herd is hunted, it is the slowest and weakest ones at the back that are killed first. This natural selection is good for the herd as a whole because the general speed and health of the whole is maintained or even improved by the regular culling of the weakest members.
In much the same way, the human brain can only operate as fast as the slowest brain cells through which the electrical signals pass. Recent epidemiological studies have shown that while excessive intake of alcohol kills off brain cells, it attacks the slowest and weakest brain cells first. Thus, regular consumption of beer helps eliminate the weaker cells, constantly making the brain a faster and more efficient machine. The results of this in-depth study verifies and validates the casual link between all-weekend parties and job related performance. It also explains why, after a few short years of leaving a university and getting married, most professionals cannot keep up with the performance of the new graduates. Only those who stick to the strict regimen of voracious alcoholic consumption can maintain the intellectual levels that they achieve during their college years.
So, this is our call to arms! As our country is losing its technological edge, we must not shudder in our homes. Get back to the bars! Quaff that pint! Your company and country need you to be at your peak, and you shouldn't deny yourself the career that you could have. Take life by the bottle and be all that you can be! Please give this to all your friends, acquaintances and coworkers that may be in danger of losing their edge.