Posted on 11/26/2002 12:33:12 PM PST by Liz
1. A .44 Magnum beats four aces.
2. Psychiatrists say that one of four people are mentally ill. Check three friends. If they're OK, you're it.
3. Nothing in the known universe travels faster than a bad check.
4. A truly wise man never plays leapfrog with a unicorn.
5. It has recently been discovered that research causes cancer in rats.
6. Always remember to pillage BEFORE you burn.
7. Given an open-book exam, you will forget your book; if a take-home test, you will forget where you live.
8. The trouble with doing something right the first time is that nobody appreciates how difficult it was.
9. It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others.
10. Gresham's Law: You can't fall off the floor.
11. The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the average man can see better than he can think.
12. Law of Probability Dispersal: Whatever it is that hits the fan will not be evenly distributed.
13. A diplomat is someone who can tell you to go to hell and make you feel happy to be on your way.
14. Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society.
15. Vital papers will demonstrate their vitality by moving from where you left them to where you can't find them.
16. Paranoids are people, too. It's easy to criticize, but if everybody hated you, you'd be paranoid, too.
Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.