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Nice post, Ivan. Why are you going so soft on him, though?

Just so he gets the point, I'll add an American perspective on the future - call it the ghost of Christmas Future for OBL:

Osama:

Should your cultists manage to pull of another attack - rumored to be more spectacular than 9/11 - you will have managed to singlehandedly destroy the religion that you claim to hold so dear. (More on that in a minute.)

We all know that your "cause" has nothing to do with religion, or anything to do with the "suffering" of the Islamic people. It only has to do with one thing: Osama's ego and desire for power.

That makes you less of a human than even Bill Clinton - who most of us find to be the most disgusting bag of sh!t to ever call himself a human. In your case, however, having killed or ordered the killing of scores of innocent people just to quench your thirst for something as intangible as what you think of as power is beyond vile. You are nothing more than an impetulant child - a rich kid who didn't get all of his toys and now the world must pay. It's not our fault you're as ugly as you are stupid. How many must die due to your tantrums?

I'll tell you how many. First of all, should you in fact kill any more of us in your power quest, we will drop our current policy of direct engagement of your forces. The American public will merely begin the summary execution of all Muslims within our borders, and as many as we can get to in Canada and Mexico. As you know, our military is stationed in over 100 nations of the globe, and they will begin enforcing a "scorched earth" method of combat. Throughout the middle east, Asia, central and south America, and of course Africa, our troops will kill every single Muslim that they encounter - every man, woman, and child. There will be contests and awards given for body counts. We will completely depopulate these areas without using a single nuclear weapon. Your people will make excellent track grease for our tanks. We will be joined by the Russians, India, and probably even China once that they see that they cannot count on you to do their dirty work for them.

Yes, even China - your paymaster/puppetmaster - will turn on you like the rabid dogs you have become. If they don't, then the US and Russia will see that they are indeed behind all of your crap and it will be over for them as well.

So far, we're over 2 billion and counting. There aren't enough "virgins" for all of those martyrs, camelhumper. And most of them will be searching you out in Hell to get some revenge for sending them on a fool's errand.

Enjoy your eternity in Hell - it should be interesting for you indeed.

Nice post, Ivan. Why are you going so soft on him, though?

Because there are ladies present, and what I really think, I wouldn't want to say in front of them. ;)

It does bear some similarity to this:

How yet resolves the governor of the town?
This is the latest parle we will admit;
Therefore to our best mercy give yourselves;
Or like to men proud of destruction
Defy us to our worst: for, as I am a soldier,
A name that in my thoughts becomes me best,
If I begin the battery once again,
I will not leave the half-achieved Harfleur
Till in her ashes she lie buried.
The gates of mercy shall be all shut up,
And the flesh'd soldier, rough and hard of heart,
In liberty of bloody hand shall range
With conscience wide as hell, mowing like grass
Your fresh-fair virgins and your flowering infants.
What is it then to me, if impious war,
Array'd in flames like to the prince of fiends,
Do, with his smirch'd complexion, all fell feats
Enlink'd to waste and desolation?
What is't to me, when you yourselves are cause,
If your pure maidens fall into the hand
Of hot and forcing violation?
What rein can hold licentious wickedness
When down the hill he holds his fierce career?
We may as bootless spend our vain command
Upon the enraged soldiers in their spoil
As send precepts to the leviathan
To come ashore. Therefore, you men of Harfleur,
Take pity of your town and of your people,
Whiles yet my soldiers are in my command;
Whiles yet the cool and temperate wind of grace
O'erblows the filthy and contagious clouds
Of heady murder, spoil and villany.
If not, why, in a moment look to see
The blind and bloody soldier with foul hand
Defile the locks of your shrill-shrieking daughters;
Your fathers taken by the silver beards,
And their most reverend heads dash'd to the walls,
Your naked infants spitted upon pikes,
Whiles the mad mothers with their howls confused
Do break the clouds, as did the wives of Jewry
At Herod's bloody-hunting slaughtermen.
What say you? will you yield, and this avoid,
Or, guilty in defence, be thus destroy'd?

Regards, Ivan

Also this:

We are glad the Dauphin is so pleasant with us;
His present and your pains we thank you for:
When we have march'd our rackets to these balls,
We will, in France, by God's grace, play a set
Shall strike his father's crown into the hazard.
Tell him he hath made a match with such a wrangler
That all the courts of France will be disturb'd
With chases. And we understand him well,
How he comes o'er us with our wilder days,
Not measuring what use we made of them.
We never valued this poor seat of England;
And therefore, living hence, did give ourself
To barbarous licence; as 'tis ever common
That men are merriest when they are from home.
But tell the Dauphin I will keep my state,
Be like a king and show my sail of greatness
When I do rouse me in my throne of France:
For that I have laid by my majesty
And plodded like a man for working-days,
But I will rise there with so full a glory
That I will dazzle all the eyes of France,
Yea, strike the Dauphin blind to look on us.
And tell the pleasant prince this mock of his
Hath turn'd his balls to gun-stones; and his soul
Shall stand sore charged for the wasteful vengeance
That shall fly with them: for many a thousand widows
Shall this his mock, mock out of their dear husbands;
Mock mothers from their sons, mock castles down;
And some are yet ungotten and unborn
That shall have cause to curse the Dauphin's scorn.
But this lies all within the will of God,
To whom I do appeal; and in whose name
Tell you the Dauphin I am coming on,
To venge me as I may and to put forth
My rightful hand in a well-hallow'd cause
. So get you hence in peace; and tell the Dauphin
His jest will savour but of shallow wit,
When thousands weep more than did laugh at it.
Convey them with safe conduct. Fare you well.

Regards, Ivan