Damn Thad, well done! I liked that one. You know damn well that I'm pretty much east Mississippi piney woods descended and I can't claim much slave ownership in my past. However, my wife has very strong antebellum ancestry. Can I count her's? That may be your wittiest retort yet.
I hate to be tacky but do you really consider slaves with white skin and blonde hair to be "classier" than slaves with dark hair and non-white skin? Isn't that sort of err.....a racist presumption in it's own right. I suppose since you uttered it then of course not....it couldn't be.