Reading the first 50 replies reminds me of a lesson I learned in life. I was 22 and i thought I was a hot shot. I was a union laborer making more money then most people especially my friends.
I was working for a large outfit that took good care of their men and did excellant work.
They had a job that needed to be done at night in downtown Vegas.
I wound up working for the toughest man in the company. He demended everything be perfect. He was very anal but he taught me a lesson that sticks in my mind and I am reminded of it constantly. Keep in mind I was a 22 year old hotshot who knew it all.
He had a john wayne type drawl and spoke slow. He was very very sharp.
He said Mr johnson, You have some good qualities but you have one bad quality that overrides all the good that you do on the job. I am going to give you some advice that you would be very wise to learn and always use this advice for the rest of your life.
Whenever confronted with a problem you look at the reasons why you cant do the problem before you look at the ways to solve the problem.
If you were to always think first about how to solve the problem then you will find most of the reasons why you cannot solve the problem no longer exist.
This is something that will take you far in life as you can apply it to all aspects of your life, not just at work.
My first impulse was to tell him how wrong he was but something stopped me and I thought long and hard about what he said.
The next day I told him he was right. He told me that positive criticism is my friend and never look at it as a bad thing.
He was a wise man and both of those things he told me have always stood out in my mind.
Look for ways to solve the problem before you look at reasons why it cant be done and the reasons for not being able to do it will disappear and always be open to positive criticism.
Two good pieces of advice.
When I was starting graduate school, at 23, there was a veteran PhD student there who was pretty sharp. Without realizing it, I started relying on him more and more, asking him where I could find this, what I should do here, etc. One day I popped into his office, and asked him where I could find something I needed, and how to use it. He stared at me for about 3 seconds, then said "***, can't you do ANYTHING for yourself?" I was ticked off! The guy WAS truly famous for being arrogant, and he held bad grudges, and had many weaknesses. I immediately focused on his weaknesses in my mind, and angrily set out to find the equipment myself. As I was working, I realized he was right, and was embarrassed, but also very, very thankful for his straight-forward criticism. Seeing my problem, and stopping my over-dependence got me through graduate school, and has helped me beyond.
You're right. I know you weren't talking about an enemy here, but... a wise man can take criticism, even from his worst enemy. After all, an enemy may give the MOST valuable criticism, because he's not prejudiced to like you.
Both of those morals you brought up are very applicable to the topic of this thread.