Once upon a time, there was a magical Kingdom, where a God-fearing, industrious people flourished, enjoying their Lives, their Liberty, and their Pursuit of Happiness. These good people were empowered by their trust in a Government of Constitutionally-limited powers, the inherent goodness of their Democratically-chosen Leaders, and their belief that Justice and the Rule of Law ultimately triumphs over all. This Great Kingdom, led by the patriot Reagan, fought the Great Crusade against the evil, totalitarian Red Fiefdom accross the Sea, and were Victorious, inspiring other Peoples--longing for FReedom--to look upon the Kingdom as a Shining City on the Hill!
Until one day, a devious cabal of power-hungry men and womyn infiltrated the Kingdom, casting a wicked spell of Fear, Cynicism, and Doubt that steadily enslaved ever-increasing numbers of these good people in the shackles of Dependency and Entitlement. And the power of these despoilers of freedom--who called themselves Lib'rals--grew immense, as they wrested control of the Halls of Enlightenment, the Chroniclers of Information, the Ministry of Culture, and the gargantuan Bureaucracy of Regulators. As the Great Reagan and his many strong Knights returned from vanquishing the despots of the Red Fiefdom, they wearily attempted to resist this Vast, Left-Wing Conspiracy and the sinister tide of Pessimism that had permeated the Soul of their once-great Kingdom. However, Reagan had grown weak and ill from his heroic efforts, and the defenders of Liberty--who called themselves Conservatives--found themselves without a strong leader, and temporarily without direction. And the Sheeple were spell-bound and silent...
Into this breach strode the vile, boorish ruler, Slick Willie, a charlatan without a soul, devoid of character, and driven only by a shameless Lust for Power (and for young harlots to whom he was not betrothed). The Lib'rals hailed his tyrannical reign and excused his TREASONOUS crimes, as this self-styled "Effete Elite" secretly despised the Kingdom's granting of FReedom and Liberty to the peasant folk, for it empowered their subjects and undercut the Lib'rals' claim on Power. The corrupt Slick Willie--who came to be known as Billzabubba--sought to further the enslavement of the once-strong Sheeple by secretly colluding with the despots of a new, totalitarian Red Fiefdom accross the Sea, and conspired to increase his countrymen's dependence on the Omnipotent Diety of Guv'ment. Still, the Sheeple remained spell-bound and largely silent...
Until, gloriously, a wise man of Noble, yet Humble, descent--who came to be known as the Maja Rushi--arose from the masses, and spread accross the Kingdom his message of The Way Things Ought To Be. An heir to the optimism of Reagan, the Maja Rushi inspired millions to awake from their Mellow Apathy and strike out against the tyrannical rule of the Lib'rals and the reign of the evil Billzabubba. Still, most of the Sheeple remained spell-bound and largely silent...
Finally, a young balladeer--who came to be known as Mudboy Slim--joined the Great Crusade against Slick Willie! This young Patriot combined the optimism of Reagan with the wisdom of the Maja Rushi. Mudboy and MUDzMerryMinstrels vocalized many great folk songs that enlivened the Masses, causing the corrupt, Lib'ral spell to be broken and Billzabubba and his Lib'ral apologists to be vanquished from Power!!
Thus, there dawned a great new Libertarian Era of ever-shrinking governmental authority and an ever-expanding emphasis on Individual Liberty and Personal Responsibility. Herein are compiled but a few of those songs that have been passed down through the Ages, The Ballads of Mudboy Slim...
1 Posted on 07/27/1999 22:20:57 PDT by Mudboy Slim
So Sayeth the Word of...MUD
"The Liberal Lie"
(To be sung to Don McLean's "American Pie")
A long, long time ago, Bill could still remember
How his Sweet Sax used to make them smile,
And he knew if he had his chance,
That he could make those suckers dance,
And maybe he could fool 'em for awhile.
But Whitewater's a nasty river,
Those sordid scandals made the Left shiver.
With John Huang his Lead Sales Rep,
Dem Chinese funds Bill'd collect.
I can't remember if I cried,
When I learned the extent Slick Willie'd lied,
But something touched me deep inside, the day Clintonism died.
So, Bye-bye to the DemonRAT's Lie,
Drove our country to bankruptcy, but our wallets ran dry.
Teddy and his boys were drinkin' whiskey and rye,
Singin' "This'll be the day that I die! This will be the day that I die!"
Are you one of "The Ignorant"?!
And do you have faith in government, 'cuz Bill Clinton tells you so?
And do you believe Gore didn't know?
Will God forgive Janet Reno...for the twenty-seven dead kids at Waco?
Well, I know that you're in love with Slick,
But his Administration makes me sick!!
Your votes allowed this ruse, ma-a-an, you gotta be feelin' used!!
Bill's just a middle-aged, cocksure schmuck,
Lookin' for redemption and some whores who suck,
But he knew he was outta luck the day his intern LIED!
I started singin'...
"Bye-bye to the Liberal Lie, drove our culture to the gutter,
But Left's "One-World" was Vile!"
And DemLeftWingFools were kneelin'..."Slick's still our guy."
Singin' "This'll be the day that I die! This will be the day that I die!"
Now for ten years, we've dealt with his sleaze,
While Bill's grown phat on funds Chinese,
But that's not "The Way Things Ought To Be"!
Then, Mudboy sang 'gainst the King and Queen,
With a strength derived from livin' FRee,
In a voice crying out for Liberty!
And while RAT'sKing was feelin' down, good FReepers run him outta town.
The Left Wing was concerned, Left's Icon had been spurned.
And while Hell'ry read her book on Marx,
Vince Foster's corpse ditched in the Park,
Still we smoked ceegars on a lark, the day the Networks lied!
Mudboy's singin'...
"Bye-bye to the Socialist Lie,
Drove the needy to addiction while they smoked to get high!"
And them UnionThugs were drinkin' whiskey and rye,
Singin' "This'll be the day that we die!
This will be the day that Slick fries!!!"
Senate hearings in a Summer swelter,
John Glenn provided Clinton's fall-out shelter,
He once flew high, now he's fallin' fast.
LeftistWhore'd can kiss my ass! While DemonRATS cry, "Just give Bill a pass",
Since Ol' Slicks' just gettin' hummers from some "Lass"!
Next, the LeftWing arrogance resumed,
While Fleetwood Mac played a vacuous tune.
The Left got up to dance! Oh, but Right never gave'em a chance!
'Cuz as the Lib'ral's tried to take the field,
John Ashcroft's staff refused to yield!
Do you recall how FReedom feels? Today Fascism died!
We kept on singin'...
"Bye-bye to the Clinton-Gore spies,
Drove their cronies to be Felons, but we know who ain't Right!"
Network Media twits, they just continued to lie,
Singin' "This'll be the day that we die!
This will be the day that we die!"
Oh, it's Reality the Left cannot face,
Spoiled generation lost in space,
With no time left to start again!
So, come on! Bush, be nimble, Dick, be quick!
DemonRATS, ya gotta dump this prick,
'Cuz next election's only just around the bend.
For as I watched Bill up on that stage,
My hands were clenched in fists of rage,
Took this Redneck Mad as Hell to break Bill Clinton's spell!
And as Mankind flew high and to the Right,
To fight the libertarian fight,
I saw Reagan laughin' with delight, the day Marxism died!
Ol' Ronnie's singin'...
"Bye-bye to the Liberal's Lies,
Drove our country to the Devil, but Slick Willie, HE LIED!!"
And BillzaBubba's drinkin' whiskey and rye,
Singin' "This'll be the day I RESIGN! Gosh, I sure wish I'd have just RESIGNED!!"
It seems the Media's a bit confused,
So I urge you, ignore the Network News,
That's why their marks are down to stay.
As citizens, we deserve more than lies obstructin' crimes galore!
But Rush Limbaugh knew, "The Truth will win the day!"
And in the streets, the children gleemed,
The lovers sighed and the poets dreamed...
'Cuz Liberalism's chokin', the Far Left's hold's been broken.
And the three men I admire most, the Father, Son, and the Holy Ghost,
They raised their glasses for a toast, the day Clintonism died.
And they were singin'...
"Bye-bye to the Liberal's Lies,
Drove our Country to the Devil, but Bill Clinton, HE LIED!"
And Liberals're drinkin Kool-Aid and Lye,
Singin' "History'll say that Slick LIED! History'll know that Slick SPIED!"
Don was singin'...
"Bye-bye, Miss American Pie,
Drove my Chevy to the levee but the levee was dry."
And them good ol' boys were drinkin' whiskey and rye,
Singin', "This'll be the day the Left dies!
This'll be the day Justice's THINE!!!"
FReep On, Good Patriots, FReep On!!
MUD
P.S. When I get back, look fer some jammin' new tunes by U2, the Doors, the Who, and others...I write my best stuff while on vacation!!
1 Posted on 08/23/1999 00:08:52 PDT by Mudboy Slim