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The CIA had an opening for an assassin. After all of the background checks, interviews, and testing were done there were three finalists, two men and a woman.

For the final test, the CIA agents took one of the men to a large metal door and handed him a gun. "We must know that you will follow your instructions, no matter what the circumstances.

Inside of this room, you will find your wife sitting in a chair,Kill Her!!! The man said, "You can't be serious. I could never shoot my wife." The agent said, "Then you're not the right man for this job.

The second man was given the same instructions. He took the gun and went into the room. All was quiet for about five minutes. Then the man came out with tears in his eyes. "I tried, but I can't kill my wife." The agent said, "You don't have what it takes, Take your wife and go home."

Finally, it was the woman's turn. She was given the same instructions, to kill her husband. She took the gun and went into the room. Shots were heard, one shot after another. They heard screaming, crashing, banging on the walls. After a few minutes, all was quiet. The door opened slowly and there stood the woman. She wiped the sweat from her brow and said, "You guys didn't tell me the gun was loaded with blanks. I had to beat him to death with the chair".

The fellow who originated the concept of managed health care died and arrived at the Pearly Gates. After giving his Social Security number and other identification, he was told to, "Wait over there in the Reception Area and an orientation tour bus will be by in about an hour."

The Reception Area was the most beautiful thing he had ever seen. It had a full bar (non-alcoholic, but had all the tastes of various beers and other drinks) and every type of food ever thought of. The view was fabulous. Everyone was smiling and seemed so happy.

The fellow turned to one of the very beautiful receptionists and said, "This place is beyond all imagination! It is just so wonderful. I traveled all over the world and Texas setting up HMOs and other managed care systems, but I never saw anything this wonderful. There must be some kind of mistake," he laughed.

"Oh, no, sir. We never make mistakes up here. Never have. Never will. See right here on the computer screen. It says you are fully certified for three days, sir."