...You find yourself using the excuse, "yo, but you gots twice as many cylindas, as I do" after every race.
...you drive a 4 door 'Type R'
...your drooping, gumby pants make it hard to shift
...more than 20 of your mods involve shielding whats under the hood
...you have stickers plastered all over your car that even most Asians don't get
...you have stickers for parts that you don't even have
...you have stickers for parts that aren't even MADE for your car
...you refer to a 50hp NOS system as "The big shot"
...when you drive down the road, WW II vets run for cover
...your car has SO much camber, it can drive on it's side
...your exhaust tip diameter is 4 times the size of the inner diameter of your muffler
...birds make nests on your spoiler, because it is taller than the trees
...you sell crack for the image, not the money
...you have N/T on the side window in shoe polish, but don't have a clue as to what bracket racing is
...you will only race if the other guy removes enough sparks plugs to equal yours
...you can't race uphill
...you have "All Motor" on your rear hatch, right next to your 15.5 dial-in
...you brag about your nitrous system, but dial-in at 14.5
...your exhaust system for your 1.8L is bigger than most Pro-Stock cars
...you spent more money on stickers than your parents paid for the car
...you go to performance shops and immediatly start digging in the decal bin
...your tach is bigger than your head
...you have a shift light, and you let your automatic shift by it's self
...you refuse to race because your car is for show only
...your only mods are cut factory springs and a 5" chrome exhaust tip
...at autocross events you don't run because you have a drag race setup, and at drag racing events, you brag about how you kick ass at autocross
...you have more lights on the front of your car than the USS Voyager
...you brag about the turbo or NOS kit that never seems to get installed
...your exhaust sounds like a swarm of bees, or a dying moose
...your bright green $300 air filter is bigger than your engine
www.riceboypage.com