Mark Levin: Al Gore's Unresolved Issues

NationalReview.Com ^ | 11/1/02 | Mark R. Levin

[WarSlut]

Letter to Al - Advice to the former vice president (another one).

Dear Al:

According to today's Washington Post, while campaigning yesterday on behalf of Maryland Democratic gubernatorial candidate Kathleen Kennedy Townsend, you "asked people whether they recalled where they were when the U.S. Supreme Court decided to discontinue counting ballots from the disputed Florida vote two years ago."

You asked rhetorically, "Are you over it?" The crowd shouted "no!" You then implored the audience to "use that feeling as a source of energy and drive and commitment. And if anyone tells you that one vote doesn't make a difference, send them to me."

Obviously, Al, you have some unresolved issues. Let's work through this together. Assume the lotus position, take a deep breath, and now begin chanting your personal mantra: "No controlling legal authority. No controlling legal authority. No controlling legal authority."

Now that you're relaxed, and your mind — such as it is — is clear, let's begin. The Florida election was not in dispute. You just refused to accept the outcome. No matter how many recounts have been taken, Al, you lost. Now, repeat after me: "I, Al Gore, am a loser. I have the personality of porch furniture and the political skills of the Marx Brothers."

O.K., very good Al. Now, you know that document called the United States Constitution, which you swore repeatedly to uphold? You were at least supposed to read it before ignoring it. And had you read it, you would come across the phrase — "the electoral college." These are the people we choose to elect our president and vice president. Obviously, they thought you were a loser, too. Even though you supposedly won the popular vote, you're required to receive a majority of the electoral-college vote. This is how you twice became vice president of the United States and, alas, in 2001, the night manager at Denny's restaurant in Memphis.

You should be careful about asking audiences if they're over the 2000 election. For many people, Al, there's not enough mouthwash in America to remove the bad taste you and your boss left behind.

Let this go, Al. All is not lost. In 30 years you, too, can run for the Senate from New Jersey. And after you meet your maker — Mattel — you can run for the Senate from Missouri.

Yours in gestalt,

Mark R. Levin

[BunnySlippers]

Nice article. Thanks for posting it.