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You bet the real father needs to be told. If my real father found out today ( I am 34) that he is not my real father, I would not expect to remain bonded to him at all.

I would not want to force or coerce him to hang out with me in any way. Its unreasable to expect someone not to loathe you when they find out.

I think we are all giving the real father too much of a free pass. I dont care if he is the president of the US (williams), he should have to pay!

This happened in my family. I was reluctant to talk about it because there are so many variables that are unexplainable on this forum. (I will use fictious names but some of you who know will recognize them). John found out he had a daughter when she was 19. The mother told her and John the same day. The scenario I explained earlier was about our situation. The father that raised them suspected the daughter wasn't his but stayed the course. "Barb" was rebellious and didn't get along with her half-siblings. John immediately accepted responsibilty and had to tell his children, who were more angry than Barb was. Since he was divorced from his first wife at the time, I was the one who had to come to terms with it. In the beginning, Barb liked the idea of a 'new father' who had money and John did spend quite a bit on her, buying her a car, etc. She wanted me out of the picture and there were problems. As time went on, she came to terms with me and the situation and it's as though he were there all along. She has since, turned into a wonderful mother and is happy that she knows the truth. It was when she didn't know the facts that life was hard for her. The father who raised her? I have no idea because I didn't get involved any more than was requested of me. There HAS to be honesty no matter how hurtful to either parent or the child. The child will be hurt either way, so why not just hurt her with the truth? That way, there is something to build on. The situations sounds simple while typing it but it was the craziest mess I have ever been part of. I am Mom to her and grandma to her kids and even get along with the real mom....who is a real winner...if you know what I mean.