>>Patriarchy literally means “rule by fathers” and is a system where men effectively are in control of property and decision-making.<<
My husband and I make important decisions together because we value each other's insight and wisdom.
Sometimes he's right, sometimes he's wrong. Sometimes I am right, sometimes I am wrong. We discuss things as equals, respectfully.
I don't want to be on a pedestal. I am flesh and blood, I like to work hard, I like to make money and buy nice things for the family. He put me through law school, I put him through graduate school. We take care of each other.
My husband and I make important decisions together because we value each other's insight and wisdom. Sometimes he's right, sometimes he's wrong. Sometimes I am right, sometimes I am wrong. We discuss things as equals, respectfully. I never said that, in a patriarchy, womens viewpoints are not heard or respected. But what happens when you can't come to an agreement? Somebody's opinion must prevail. The alternative is "okay you go your way, and I'll go mine"
In the army, the officer is not necessarily smarter than the people he commands. If he's reasonably smart, he'll ask for opinions and options before making a decision. The theory is that ANY half-way reasonable decision, energeticly followed-through-with, is better than arguing forever.
As I stated earlier, in a successful marriage, a smart final-decision-maker will decide to go with what the other person wants most of the time, in order to maintain good feelings. Having somebody designated as having the final say does not necessarily mean despotism