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To: shrinkermd
This survey is being played out in my own home. My 15 yo son has already said that marriage can wait, and wait, and wait. He looks ahead to his 30's and still doesn't see marriage there for him. (Wierd kid. When I was his age, I looked ahead to "Saturday".) He's so busy being an all-American kid (baseball, Motorcycles, camping, shooting, water recreation, etc.), he doesn't have time to waste on girls.

My 13 yo old daughter, on the other hand, has just discovered babies. Everyone's babies. Her teachers and church counselors are in their late teens and early twenties, are marrying and having kids. That "culture" has her infatuated with the lives of these healthy young adults (who DO wait until after marriage for sex). A year or so ago, she said she'd adopt..no way was she going to waste her athletic body on babies. Now.. she's changing.

So, if I read this correctly, my daughter and her friends are growing up, going to college, preparing themselves for lives as Mom's or careers, while my son and his buddies are going to disappoint them. They're having too much fun to get saddled down with kids.

29 posted on 10/22/2002 12:56:51 PM PDT by Steel and Fire and Stone
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To: Steel and Fire and Stone
I think #3 and #10 are pretty important ones :)

I do think they might have left one thing out. Most of us non-committal types feel that when we say "I do", she will say "You DID!".

30 posted on 10/22/2002 1:01:56 PM PDT by Outraged At FLA
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To: All
The comments are fascinating. One thing the authors did not consider was intelligence. In 1997 Charles Murray wrote an article for a UK paper (Sunday Times 25 May 1997) in respect to this. What he did first was gather a population to study.

"A very large database in the United States contains information about several thousand sibling pairs who have been followed since 1979. To make the analysis as unambiguous as possible, I have limited my sample to brothers and sisters whose parents are in the top 75 per cent of American earners, with a family income in 1978 averaging £40,000 (in today's money).

Families living in poverty, or even close to it, have been excluded. The parents in my sample also stayed together for at least the first seven years of the younger sibling's life.

Each pair consists of one sibling with an IQ in the normal range of 90-110 ,a range that includes 50% of the population. I will call this group the normals. The second sibling in each pair had an IQ either higher than 110, putting him in the top quartile of intelligence (the bright) or lower than 90, putting him in the bottom quartile (the dull). These constraints produced a sample of 710 pairs."

The results appropriate to this discussion were:

"The differences among the siblings go far beyond income. Marriage and children offer the most vivid example. Similar proportions of siblings married, whether normal, bright or dull - but the divorce rate was markedly higher among the dull than among the normal or bright, even after taking length of marriage into account. Demographers will find it gloomily interesting that the average age at which women had their first birth was almost four years younger for the dull siblings than for the bright ones, while the number of children born to dull women averaged 1.9, half a child more than for either the normal or the bright. Most striking of all were the different illegitimacy rates. Of all the first-born children of the normals, 21% were born out of wedlock , about a third lower than the figure for the United States as a whole, presumably reflecting the advantaged backgrounds from which the sibling sample was drawn. Their bright siblings were much lower still, with less than 10% of their babies born illegitimate. Meanwhile, 45% of the first-born of the dull siblings were born outside of marriage."

34 posted on 10/22/2002 1:11:42 PM PDT by shrinkermd
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To: Steel and Fire and Stone
Both my sons recently got engaged after dating the same young women for 10 years a piece. The 30 year old who is marrying his college sweetheart wanted to have it all first...job,house new car, boat and some financial security. The 27 year old is marrying his high school sweetheart. They basically waited til she finished law school. Never any doubt in his mind that he would marry her just the when. Two weddings next September, 3 weeks apart. Glad they're male children.
37 posted on 10/22/2002 1:21:29 PM PDT by surrey
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