| Maybe the whole issue boils down to this: For the man, marriage has multiple, severe downside risks, with few if any reliable benefits, and men are not so stupid they cannot discern this;
I mean, that's the premise of the "Why buy the cow?" crowd... that marriage has always been a horrible deal for men, but they'll do it anyway if that's what it takes to get laid on a regular basis. Personally, I find that whole argument ludicrous, but I guess there are people who believe it because it always shows up in these threads. But as I look over the responses in this thread, I don't see any from men who claim to have gotten married so they could get laid, and I don't see even a mention of sex in any response where the poster tried to be serious or thoughtful. If anything, the most common sentiment seemed be a lament that truly committed relationships no longer exist for men... the financial incentives held out there by government and the legal system practically scream "divorce him!" to the women, and as young men look around, they see exactly that happening to their friends... with horrible results. My hunch is that the "top ten list" in the seed article contains a fair amount of glib nonsense offered up by research subjects who wanted to collect their twenty bucks and leave.
Why aren't you considering marriage?That's a glib answer. It's not serious. There are serious answers right here on this thread, and not one of them sounds like that. But put on a white coat and grab a clipboard, and run around asking these same guys why they won't get married, and you'll probably get the same glib answer. They're not answering you, they're just getting rid of you. Nobody seems to want to believe that the consequences of divorce have become so onerous for men that marriage itself has become, on balance, an unattractive proposition. If it worked as advertised, most men would be for it. But we all know now that it doesn't. Every man has friends who got absolutely screwed by the divorce system, and they know exactly what these men did to "deserve" it... usually nothing. One can only see that happen so many times before concluding that entering a marriage is not a wise move. Could it work? Sure. Apparently it works about half the time. There's always some guy who pops into these threads to announce that he's been happily married for lo these many years, and it's great. Well, lucky him. But that's what it's come down to: luck. Nobody has the slightest idea how to predict in advance which women will wake up on their 32nd birthday and turn into Hell on wheels with a divorce lawyer. It really is like Russian Roulette... spin the chamber, put the gun to your head, and pray. Most people think that playing Russian Roulette is a pretty dumb move. Not many men would do it, even to get laid. |
But if you couldn't get laid, you'd sign up for it anyway, right?