[gogeo]

Val, who should have first claim and priority on a wife's time and energy? Her children or her second husband?

[ValerieUSA]

There shouldn't be a competition. If a man wants to compete with a woman's children for her attention, then he isn't the right one to marry. A man who will be a partner and help her with the children will get a partner in return. Together they should be a family.

I wouldn't ask a question like, "Should a man's first obligation be to his job or to his wife?"
It's a useless question that excludes reality.