Posted on 10/21/2002 5:23:22 PM PDT by Reaganwuzthebest
People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals' new Web site tutors teenage animal-rights warriors how to resist dissection in biology class and mystery meat in the cafeteria.
Oct. 21, 2002 | It's a Web site that probably even the most autocratic of high school principals wouldn't think to censor in the school library. But they'll wish they had when newly minted 15-year-old pleather-wearing, fact-sheet-waving PETA activists start lecturing them on the horrors of amphibian dissection.
The new People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals site for teens makes fighting for animal rights into a game, awarding points to the members of its "street team" for taking direct action. Order a few hundred "Cut class, not frogs" stickers, for 200 points. Plaster them all over your notebooks and locker, and send PETA a picture of your sloganeering handiwork: 1,000 points.
Oh, and when the other kids in your class are butchering pickled green once-hopping things, all in the name of learning, the site suggests spending the day at a nature preserve "observing frogs in the wild." Try feeding this line to your biology teacher when he asks why you skipped class: "You can learn way more from living frogs than from cutting up their carcasses."
On the site's message boards, kids swap fashion tips about vegan skateboarding-shoe companies and how to get your school cafeteria to serve vegetarian lunches.
"I've been a vegetarian for almost two weeks now " brags one poster on the bulletin boards of the PETA2 Web site for kids. But her mom is still serving pork chops for dinner. "Is there any way I can make my parents believe that I'm doing this for me?" she laments. The other denizens suggest bringing some PETA fact sheets about vegetarianism to the dinner table.
An interview with the grand-daddy of pop vegetarianism, Morrissey, Mr. "Meat Is Murder" himself, reveals this inspiring gem about why he went vegetarian more than 30 years ago: "If you love animals, obviously it doesnt make sense to hurt them." He says that there is no good argument for eating meat, including "It's tasty," because "its only tasty once you garnish it and you put salt and pepper and you cook it and you have to do 300 things to it to disguise its true taste. If you put garnishes on a chair or fabric it would probably taste quite nice."
Next time Mom serves up pork chops, just tell her you'd prefer a piece of the sofa with your ketchup, thanks.
Not true at all. We just roasted a turkey yesterday as is. Basted it in its own juices. I never use salt and pepper. Don't even have salt and pepper shakers in my house. These PETA folks can eat all the chairs they want. I'm sticking with meat.
And what's the deal with dissecting the frogs. Aren't they already dead by the time they get to the schools? How can a dead frog feel any pain?
-- PETM --
People for the Ethical Treatment of Moose
BK?!?!? I want a burger!
Never heard of these people when I was in high school, back then it was frogs, cats, birds. They probably would have wanted to shut the school down.
People for the Ethical Treatment of PETA Members
Anytime a PETA member needs surgery he needs to be given a piece of celery and told that he couldn't possibly be operated on because there is no one availible that understands anatomy, in biology class everyone skipped.
Don't know what they taste like, never had them. I've been told though it's sorta like chicken.
Some of these groups are strange. I've actually heard of some who think vegetables feel pain when they're uprooted and eaten. If it were up to them, we'd be drinking water for our dinner. No wait, there's bacteria in it, we wouldn't want to hurt it.
For decades in Junior High, every seventh-grade science-class (two teachers taught three class apiece each day) had one lab, where each class was split into two-student teams and dissected a mink. On "mink day", as it was referred to, about ninety minks were dissected.
Come to think of it, that's probably a lot of wasted meat. But at least the pelts were used for mink coats and mink stoles.
He sounds like a teacher I might have had once or twice.
Considering this group compares mink farmers to nazis, they would probably have a heart attack if they knew about this, that is if it's still going on.
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