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Dear Ma and Pa:

I am well. Hope you are. Tell Brother Walt and Brother Elmer the Army
beats working for Old Man Minch a mile. Tell them to join up quick before
maybe all the places are filled.

I was restless at first because you got to stay in bed till nearly 6 am!
but I am getting so I like to sleep late. Tell Walt and Elmer all you do
before breakfast is smooth your cot and shine some things -- no hogs to
slop, feed to pitch, mash to mix, wood to split, fire to lay. Practically
nothing. You got to shave, but it is not bad in warm water.

Breakfast is strong on trimmings like fruit juice, cereal, eggs, bacon,
etc., but kind of weak on chops, potatoes, beef, ham steak, fried eggplant,
pie and regular food. But tell Walt and Elmer you can always sit between
two city boys that live on coffee. Their food plus yours holds you till
noon, when you get fed.

It's no wonder these city boys can't walk much. We go on "route marches,"
which, the Sgt. says, are long walks to harden us. If he thinks so, it is
not my place to tell him different. A "route march" is about as far as to
our mailbox at home. Then the city guys all get sore feet and we ride back
in trucks. The country is nice, but awful flat.

The Sgt. is like a schoolteacher. He nags some. The Capt. is like the
school board. Cols. and Gens. just ride around and frown. They don't
bother you none.

This next will kill Walt and Elmer with laughing. I keep getting medals for
shooting. I don't know why. The bull's-eye is near as big as a chipmunk
and don't move. And it ain't shooting at you, like the Higsett boys at
home. All you got to do is lie there all comfortable and hit it. You don't
even load your own cartridges. They come in boxes.

Be sure to tell Walt and Elmer to hurry and join before other fellows get
onto this setup and come stampeding in.

Your loving son, Zeb

An Amish boy and his father were visiting a mall. They were amazed by almost everything they saw, but especially by two shiny, silver walls that could move apart and back together again. The boy asked his father, "What is this, Father?" The father [never having seen an elevator] responded "Son, I have never seen anything like this in my life, I don't know what it is."

While the boy and his father were watching wide-eyed, an old lady in a wheel chair rolled up to the moving walls and pressed a button. The walls opened and the lady rolled between them into a small room. The walls closed and the boy and his father watched small circles of lights with numbers above the walls light up. They continued to watch the circles light up in the reverse direction.

The walls opened up again and a beautiful 24-year-old woman stepped out. The father said to his son, "Go get your mother."

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Heh Heh Heh